Why can’t I reach my goals?
Why am I not successful in life?
Does this sound like you? Are you constantly asking yourself what you are doing wrong?
Maybe the reason is that you’ve fallen into a few of these traps.
So, you’ve set a goal and you’re on your way, but inevitably like all things in life, you hit a speed bump or three.
You’re losing steam, you’re getting distracted, you feel overwhelmed and you’ve just lost your way. The passion and drive to succeed have fizzled in the shadow of the long road ahead. *exhale* Can I even do this?
You wonder, how do I actually achieve my goals? How do I become successful?
Success and achieving your goals is not only what you do, but also what you don’t do and avoid.
Have you fallen in these three post-goal setting traps?
What if you could avoid months if not years of frustration? I am so thrilled that Becca Star, the Founder of Your Life, Designed™, is sharing these three major obstacles to success that you need to avoid.
Why You Won’t Be Successful
There’s a reason why all the people on the planet aren’t walking around incredibly successful. If it was easy we’d ALL be doing it. And since we’re not, it’s important to know WHY so we can avoid the destiny of okayedness! (Yes, I just made that word up.)
When you’re on your way to achieving a goal or you’d like to create a goal, here’s what you need to AVOID at all costs:
- Lack of Resources
- External Forces
Obstacle #1: Naysayers
Whether it’s the voice of fear, jealousy, doubt or worry that comes from your OWN mind, or it’s someone else’s – you all don’t know what you’re talking about.
You really don’t.
That’s a fact.
None of us know what will happen, we only think we know based on our past experience which truly makes no difference at all.
Think of all the evolution that’s happened since man first walked this earth. If we KNOW anything it’s that we’re meant to evolve and keep getting better.
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Success DEPENDS on going for it in spite of naysayers. You can be a part of their ‘club’ while the rest of the world is evolving OR you can shut down the negativity and keep moving in the direction of your dreams!
Control Your Mind and End the Self-Sabotage
If your own mind is telling you to give up, you’re not worth it, you won’t succeed, blah, blah, blah. Just change your thoughts. Guess what? YOU have control over that.
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What does that voice tell you? We all have one. Some of the more common self-sabotaging thoughts are:
- I’m not good enough.
- I’m a fraud.
- I’ll never get there.
- Who do you think you are?
The very best way to overcome these nasty thoughts is to reframe and retrain your thought patterns.
Find your personal power words that reboot your brain to unlock your greatness.
Here are some examples:
- I’m on this planet to share my unique gifts and that’s what I’m going to do.
- I am smart. I am brave. I am loved. I am amazing.
- I’m a badass and no one else can do what I uniquely do.
- I have a Higher Power and invisible team to guide me, inspire me and support me at all times.
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Surround Yourself with Positive People
You also have the power to end a conversation or remove yourself from someone else’s fear or doubtful mindset. You can’t change them and you certainly don’t have to believe what they’re saying.
If you’d like to speak up, I always try to remember to say what I mean but don’t say it mean. It’s wonderful to be clear with someone you think they might be open to supporting you in the future.
Sometimes it’s best to remember how certain people fit into your life, no matter how much you wish it could be different.
Lastly, this particular dream killer can show up as a well-meaning comment or suggestion, it can surprise the heck out of you or be completely anticipated by a certain person.
Take care of yourself and your vision. Surround yourself with supportive relationships and limit the negative ones.
Only you control the thoughts in YOUR mind. It takes practice but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
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Obstacle #2: Lack of Resources
It’s easy to think “I’d really love to do that but I don’t have the time to….” or “I don’t have the money…”.
While I like to keep things SIMPLE, I don’t say that achieving your goal is EASY. Simple and easy are two completely different words. Achieving goals isn’t always easy, but how easy is it to live in pain or struggle?
Take a journey into the future with me.
What if you were already living your vision? What if… it’s 6 months down the road well into your new life enjoying the pure joy and satisfaction it’s brought you.
How does that feel?!
Looking back, wouldn’t the time and money be WELL WORTH IT?! It would! Trust me. It would.
And there’s always an opportunity to get creative when you’re faced with obstacles. Always.
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One of the best ways to avoid this thinking is to stay in touch with your flow of creativity.
Spiritual Brainstorming is one of my favorite things to do because it’s the most effective. Add someone else to help you with this exercise and BOOM.
- Begin with a few deep breaths and a moment of meditation. Ask God/Higher Power/Universal Spirit to guide you through the process of uncovering all of the resources available to you as you start this business or write this book, whatever your goal is.
- Then put pen to paper and start writing. Write down everything that comes up for you. Even if it seems crazy, write it down!
- Did you think of someone but you’re not sure why? Doesn’t matter! Write it down.
- Maybe there was a sign or a website or a book you saw recently. If it pops into your mind, write it down.
Now I’m not saying you’ll be taking action on all of these things, some of them, certainly. But what this does for you is it opens up your flow and receptivity to what’s POSSIBLE. It’s an action you can take to show the universe that you’re WILLING to move forward.
Whether we take small steps or massive action, the universe starts to deliver.
When we don’t feel like we have any options or resources, it’s important to shift that perspective and get back in touch with the abundance that’s available to us.
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Obstacle #3: External Forces
Here’s a silly example to illustrate this for you.
When I have to fold laundry, that’s my goal, fold the laundry. I just have to get it done, put it all away, move on with my life. You get the idea.
Well, imagine me picking up each item and spending a little time to fold it (very improperly) and if I’m lucky, my husband’s helping (because achieving goals takes a team!)
Along comes one of my children. “Ohhhhhh, what’s this?”
I see them get excited at the potential in this big pile of clothes. My one year old will start picking up every single piece and throwing it on the floor. She moves FAST and it’s nearly impossible to stop her in time. My four year old will DIVE into the pile and start swimming around.
Either way, it could take me days to fold one load of laundry!
UNLESS I’M PREPARED.
I need to be faster and smarter than them. I need to see what’s coming, have an alternate route, do whatever it takes to get those clothes folded and MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE!
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Be Prepared and Ready for the Obstacles
Believe me, there will be external forces of some magnitude that get in your way. There will be challenge after challenge after challenge, sometimes all in the same day!
Just like the universe will seem to make all these crazy, insurmountable things happen, the universe will also deliver your ultimate desires to you. Kind of like my kids!
It’s so worth it, you just need to stay on your toes and be prepared. Expect challenges and use some of these ideas to get through them a lot quicker and painlessly:
- Have an alternate plan
- Don’t go it alone – support is crucial
- Give yourself some downtime
- Do something for someone else
- Pray, Journal, Meditate and/or Take a Walk
- I like to do jumping jacks or yoga – both are a great reset button
- Surrender to what is and know it will pass
Always remember that for every obstacle you face, there are big, delicious rewards waiting for you on the other side. The feelings of accomplishment, greater confidence and faith, and the growing numbers in your bank account are a few that might help you keep your eye on your dream.
Keep your vision alive and know that you can overcome anything and BE THE ONE WHO SUCCEEDS!
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How to be Successful
Stay clear of naysayers, a lack of resources and uncontrollable external forces!
Although there may not be ONE magic formula to success, there are certain obstacles you should avoid to increase your odds of success. AND, be prepared!
Don’t leave it to chance. Set your goals and create the environment for your success. Clear the road of obstacles and avoid falling into these traps.
Lay the foundation for your success today by getting your FREE Slay Your Goals Guide below, with ten steps you need to take to achieve your goals.
Fill out the form below to get your free guide.
Your road to success is paved by every tiny goal you set and slay and all the speed bumps, and potholes you avoid, but also fall into. No matter how difficult your journey gets, just don’t give up. There will be ups and downs, but keep going.
RELATED POST: 45 Uplifting Quotes for When You Feel Like Giving Up
What’s your biggest obstacle to succeeding?
More About Guest Contributor
Becca Starr is a Success Coach for Women Entrepreneurs and the founder of Your Life, Designed™. She’s a thought leader, author and speaker offering online and live workshops that help women share their unique calling and increase profitability. She was a spa owner for many years until discontentment revealed it was time to begin a new chapter in teaching women they also have the power to live their greatness and create a life that is deeply satisfying.
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