Do you need to overcome perfectionism being “good enough’?
Are you tired of being a perfectionist? It's exhausting always trying to be perfect. Here's how you can STOP! @askteetravel #mindset #mindfulness #Perfectionism
I use to find myself getting stressed out, not meeting deadlines and watching work build up quicker than it was getting out. I focused too much energy on one thing, that I couldn’t finish and felt like a failure.
Eventually, I worked out the one word that held me back, perfection.
Maybe you can relate? Are you contant striving for perfection keeping you from being successful?
Table of Contents:
Back in August 2016, I launched my website and it was very exciting. Then, the most nerve-racking time came when I had to publish my first post. Thoughts of doubt were circling…
Is this good enough?
Will anyone read it?
What if no one likes this?
It was embedded into me (by myself) that I had to have everything perfect.
Pushing publish on my first article had the mixed emotions above, but the best feeling was satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with this word and as soon as I replaced it with perfection, it all changed.
I had to stop worrying about being perfect, so I could make progress.
Is being obsessed with perfectionism and stressing over being good enough and every tiny detail, holding you back from achieving your goals?
Are you ready to let go of being a perfectionist and start being satisfied with yourself and your work instead? Here’s how.
Understanding the Obsessed with Perfection
The word that comes to mind when I think of ‘perfect’ is negativity.
We have all known from a young age that no one is perfect. And that we shouldn’t go through life trying to be perfect because we will almost fail from the outset and throughout.
But knowing this doesn’t stop us from having anxiety over not being perfect all the time.
The solution to perfection obsession is to focus on the new word for perfection, satisfaction, think of the 180 mind-shift you can do in your life. When I began to feel satisfied this made me happy and wanted to work a lot harder.
Now satisfaction isn’t a substitute for everything. This is very important. You can not do things half-a** just to finish something off when it is important. But you do need to draw a line and not cross it.
For example,
- if you wanted to make gravy but it didn’t taste as good as the last. Don’t keep adding ingredients in case you make it worse, just be satisfied with where it’s at.
- If you’re wanting to go for a job interview, try to pick out the best attire that you are absolutely happy (rather than satisfied) with so you don’t stress later.
It’s your turn to think of things that you are not finishing or beginning because you are stressing about being perfect.
Start to think from another point of view and if you are happy with what you have got right now.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 4 Easy Strategies You Need to Beat Procrastination
You Achieve More When You Stop Being a Perfectionist
Fast forward to December 2017. One of the Facebook groups I am in, one of the ladies started a blog post challenge. She basically had heaps of work that she wanted to get out and asked if anyone else was in the same position.
A few of us decided to stop being a perfectionist and set a challenge for 12 posts in 12 days. From December 12 to December 23 we were aiming to publish the 12 blog posts. I knew straight away, with a tiny bit of reservation, that I should and want to do this.
It really was another push to let go of being a perfectionist. Creating real and truthful content that others would find useful is why I created my blog, not to portray the perfect life.
Is being a perfectionist holding you back from showing other’s it’s okay to not be perfect?
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I successfully posted all 12 articles within the 12 days and I felt super happy and satisfied. Yes, there were a few late nights to 11 pm when I pushed publish. But that’s because Christmas is a busy time, not because perfection was holding me back.
Before this challenge, I was obsessed with making every article perfect that I found myself only posting once every month! That didn’t make me very happy, but this challenge (which really was a challenge) was perfect. Pun intended.
How to Stop Being A Perfectionist
Now this ‘letting go of perfection’ doesn’t just apply to my blog. This is my new way of life in general now (and you should consider this too, not just for your blog/business etc). I’ve changed so much in the last twelve months and this is from a lot of angles.
Read on for how you can stop being perfect in all areas of your life and embrace being good enough.
Friendships and relationships
The Cull
Getting rid of toxic relationships/friendships. This can be with certain people, groups, memberships, sporting teams, work colleagues, and environments. Ones that just make you upset, angry, fake or agreeing to things you don’t want or making out that you’re life is perfect for pressure.
I have had experiences like these, and for years I let it happen. I’d let some people walk over me, pressure me into things (or not doing things) and making me feel worse about myself.
Through “friendships” and social media, our lives are accessible to anyone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can stop being a perfectionist in your relationships by getting rid of these people as soon as you can.
It doesn’t have to be in a hostile way, gently grow apart, avoid the gatherings or cut back on the communication.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 50 Quotes About Being Criticized and How to Handle it
Positive Vibes
Out with the bad and in with the good, or keeping the good. Those family members, friends, work colleagues and other relationships you keep that are good for you.
The ones where you can be yourself and have support from those you can trust. Ones that aren’t going to judge you, talk about you behind your back or stab you in it. Ones who can be honest with you and listen to you.
Having people in your life who actually listen to you is so important. When you have these types of relationships you don’t have to be perfect or show a perfect life. This is when you are 100% real and being perfect doesn’t come into play at all. Having these great people around me is another reason why I don’t care about being perfect anymore.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 6 Steps to Staying Positive No Matter What Happens
When I took the leap
Over the past couple of years, I’ve realized the people who fit into my life and those that don’t. I have not ruined the relationships, but I’ve walked away from such “friendships and relationships” that are not good for me.
This has been a very slow process as I’ve known for years I have had to do it, but it’s hard. Truth be told, it was really hard. To walk away from friendships that I’ve had for years made me sad.
The reality though, was that these people just didn’t care about me at all or anymore. I kept trying and eventually it clicked and I had to remove myself from it all.
Take the leap to get away from toxic friends or those that you can’t be yourself around, they are just not worth it. A lot of these people project these perfect lives on social media or when we are at gatherings and it’s fake. They lie about things, over exaggerate or say one thing to someone and another to someone else.
Perfection can bring drama and I’m not about that. If you don’t like drama or these ‘be-careful-what-you-say’ groups, get out of them! When you stop being perfect, you stop being fake too!
Being Known As A Social Girl
Growing up, I’ve never been one of the popular girls, even though friends say that.
I am more of a social person that a lot of people know and I know a lot of people. This persona that has been with me for many years makes me feel great and crap. Great because it makes you feel good to be known by people or you know them.
But crap because I felt like I always had to be social, know what is going on or be entertaining for everyone.
Fully Embracing My Happy Not-Perfect Life
The craziest thing I have found with letting go of perfectionism is happiness. And isn’t that what we are all after?
All we want for ourselves and our loved ones is to be healthy and happy. So after I’ve let go of friendships, trying to gain followers on Instagram, writing the perfect articles on my blog etc – I’m so happy!
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy before but I’d feel low and that I wasn’t getting anywhere.
It’s still happening of discovering who my true friends are and how to get sh*t done, but I’m happy. I still have bad days at work, nights out, low post engagement but no drama. No pressure to feel like I need to be perfect. It’s a toxic mindset that should be thrown out immediately.
Why I Don’t Care About Being Perfect, and Neither Should You
I hope when reading this you can take the leap of letting go of being perfect.
Whether that’s in your family, friendships, your business, romantic relationships, blog, social media etc. The one thing that makes you different from anybody else in the world, is you.
Being yourself and not feeling like you have to be perfect will make you smile. If not, at least you can avoid hearing or getting crap from other people. As when someone looks at you: who doesn’t have to pretend or smiles ear to ear all the time, they want to know your secret.
I don’t care about being perfect, I’m just doing me and as exactly as this website (that I’m lucky enough to be a guest) says, it’s all you boo!
Have any questions, comments or want to talk more about letting go of being a perfectionist?
Leave a comment below and let’s chat!
Are you ready to stop being perfect in your life?
More About Guest Contributor
Last Updated on July 11, 2021
Halo Zouaghi says
It’s very interesting that the first word that comes to your mind when you think of perfection is negativity. I always think of perfection as something positive, but when you look at the word from the angle that you are talking about its easy to see how it can cause nothing but a negative effect in one’s life. Perfection is definitely something that holds me back with my blog. I think my initial design took months. My posts often take a while because I focus on perfect and am not often satisfied. My shop is taking forever for me to put together because everything I put up, I take down the next week because it just isn’t so. I think I will definitely think of being satisfied and getting things done. We’ll see how many more blog posts I can accomplish because of this mind shift. Thank you! I appreciate this article.
PS Def. sharing this post in my social media!
Tracey Best says
Thanks for your words, Halo. I like what you first wrote. I guess perfectionist is positive externally, but within ourselves it feels negative a lot. As in, we stress and hold back if the bar isn’t being reached.
I understand it too. I hope it changes for you too, I’m sure it will. Your shop will no doubt be up & stick to all your visions! Thanks so much for sharing, Halo!
Joely Smith says
Funny to come across this. While I do not worry too much about the articles I write being perfect in and of themselves, I tend to push myself to do too much. For me, being perfect was staying on a specific schedule of 4 blog articles per week EVERY WEEK no matter what was going on in my life. In addition – promoting each article. Just in the past few days, I have decided to stop doing this and just write when I can or when I have to due to a deadline. I am focusing more on my life outside of blogging now. I still hope to do my best with every article that I write, as I did before, but if I do not hit publish enough I am not going to stress it. It was killing me and causing me to want to just give up. Now I can focus on making progress in other ways both off and on my blog.
Thanks for this article – it just confirms what I was already feeling! Confirmation is nice to have!
Tracey Best says
Joely, thank you so much for your kind words. The best thing I’ve found with trying to let go of perfectionism is felling content. Being okay/happy/satisfied. I’m glad my words resonated with you. To me, 4 posts a week is a mighty commitment, so that’s remarkable you kept it up for a while.
Leah says
This is so true. My daughter is 11 years old and she is obsessed with being perfect. Her father and I tell her that it’s OK to make mistakes, etc. I worry about when she is in high school that she will make herself crazy trying to be perfect.
Tracey Best says
I hear what you’re saying, Leah. It takes re wiring when we are on a track that is normal to us. Coping is what we need sometimes in the aftermath of falling, not failing.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Mackenzi Green says
Great read, I struggle with this so much. I want to do all of these things but feel there is not enough time in the day and it leaves me feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. I have been trying to let go and enjoy the moment but it’s not that easy !
Tracey Best says
Finding time is very difficult, although some say that is an excuse, full on days are different vs feeling exhausted & not doing anything. It’s tough.
Amber says
Wonderful tips. I bet if I actually tried these it would lower my anxiety and as you said in the post you can get a lot more done if not working about it being perfect!
Tracey Best says
Yep! If you feel like you are happy with your work rather than putting yourself down as it’s not “perfect” you’ll adapt & get more things done.
Nicole says
Perfectionism is the bane of my existence – and it’s something I’m working on – this whole concept of being “good enough” is such a hard one to come around to when you have a perfectionist personality (like me 😉 ). I love how you’ve flipped it on it’s head and talked about satisfaction instead. That’s how I know it’s good enough – it’s when I feel satisfied that I know it’s “good enough.” Thanks for the tips 🙂
Tracey Best says
Thank you, Nicole!
That’s exactly why I used the word, satisfaction! Being satisfied is being content! Thank you so much for your lovely comment.
Gemille Sleweon says
This is something I’ve struggled with since I was younger. Ive always been a perfectionist, but as i get older i realize that just doing the best I can and learning from the mistakes I’ve made is better than anything else. Thank you for this post.
Tracey Best says
Gemille, this is how I felt too.
That’s why I loved writing this article too, to keep reminding myself it’s better to jump than stand still.
DD's blog says
The hustle and bustle of time brings a lot of stress into life. But if we surround ourselves with positive people and our family members, we will easily overburden the disadvantages. This is one amazing post, thumbs up 🙂
Tracey Best says
Very true. One of those quotes of ‘you are the company you keep’
Thank you so much for your lovely words!
Aileen Adalid says
This hits home to me! As someone who is a perfectionist, I have some problems dealing with this kind of problem sometimes. But thankfully, I have improved and it feels so freeing to let some things go.
Tracey Best says
Thanks, Aileen. It still sticks with me at times, but eventually I think ‘just stop, and get work out.’ Lovely to hear you have improved!
Karla says
Great article! when I’m in high school I am a very perfectionist person maybe because I want to impress my family a lot, that I excel of what I’m doing, but no matter how much I tried, I am not contented or satisfied with my accomplishments. During college I realized that you don’t have to impress everybody and gladly I found a way out that everything doesn’t need to be perfect.
Tracey Best says
Wow, that’s brilliant to hear Karla. We do need to have these battles with ourselves and find resolution. Through resolution we find peace or better peace of mind. I’m glad this resonated with you. Wishing you the best for your endeavours.
Lucy says
Absolutely love this! Since starting my blog I’ve always pushed myself to publish as it is and not keep editing for perfection 💗
Tracey Best says
Thank you for your lovely feed back, Lucy. It’s great to hear you do that. We just have to think ‘just do it (push publish)’ haha
Amy Kennedy says
Wow! I needed to hear this! Especially the “Done is better than perfect” line. Very wise and well thought. I love that you pushed yourself to do the 12 articles in 12 days. It really probably helped you get a swift pattern in place for work. I may consider that.
Tracey Best says
It’s a game changer-mind-set isn’t it. It was a struggle towards the end but it was such a great feeling. I’m glad this resonated with you, Amy.
leanne brookes says
I can totally relate to this. I wait around way too much because I don’t think I’m good enough or ‘perfect’ enough at certain things that I’m passionate about. It’s such a waste of time and talent! Thanks for sharing, x
Tracey Best says
Aw Leanne. Exactly, I was and still am at times in that thought process. It’s just negative on us but hard to push through the anxiety of putting our work/words out to the world. Keep going and pushing yourself! Thanks for your feedback.
Haley says
Ah thank you for your honesty! I needed this today! Sometimes I get so overwhelmed in the pursuit of perfection, this article reminded me to breathe and relax.
Tracey Best says
Thank you, Haley. It’s what we must read/be reminded of every now & again
Cass says
I’m so happy I read this today – as a fellow blogger, I struggle with perfection a lot. Seeing how fantastic other people are doing, not knowing if what I create is the best I can do, and over-worrying about every detail. I’m my own worst critic
Tracey Best says
I’m the same! I just compare myself to others & need to stop. I’m glad it resonated with you, Cass 🙂
Elizabeth O says
This was a great article and has a lot of great advice in that people will find really helpful. The pressure to be perfect, I feel, is something everyone must experience, social media really puts the pressure on I think.
Tracey Best says
Thank you so much for your kind words, Elizabeth! We should experience, I believe that too, we just need to be able to move forward
emman damian says
Sometimes we just have to learn from our mistakes. I’m a perfectionist but then sometimes we just have to make mistakes to be able to know new things.
Tracey Best says
Yes, we should always learn from our mistakes. They are an important part in life.
Nicole Shillings says
Wow, this is a very inspiring post. It really makes me think about what holds me back. Lately I haven’t been posting original recipes on my blog because my photography isn’t perfect. I think I need to reconsider that.
Tracey Best says
Thanks for your lovely words, Nicole! I’m glad you found it inspiring 🙂 keep posting those recipes