What’s it like to host your first webinar?
How does it feel to leave your comfort zone?
It's called leaving your comfort zone for reason. I had all the feels after my first webinar. It's not easy, but it's part of the process! Here are my thoughts. #ComfortZone #Fear #TryNewThings
“So, how’d it go?”
“Do you feel accomplished?”
Umm… honestly, not really. I do, however, feel a lot of other things.
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What an emotional wreckage of a week. I experienced a hella a lot of feelings over the last ten or so days (minutes, seconds, parsecs) leading up to (who am I kidding), during and after hosting my first ever live webinar.
I’m stranded on an island between “it’s a big deal” and “it really wasn’t” where the feelings of the local population of one (me!) are scared, nervous, uncomfortable, horrified and beyond.
I know what you’re thinking, “Really Nadalie, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Was it?”
I really don’t know, can you tell me?
Seriously, please tell me (only half-seriously). Don’t watch it.
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Why Am I So Nervous?
It probably wasn’t, but part of me was worried I’d pass out or yack live on YouTube or just forget everything and go blank?
It was such a weird experience for me, considering I couldn’t even tell you the last time I was actually THIS nervous. I may never have ever been this nervous before.
Definitely not this bad for defending my Master’s research or even boarding a plane for the other side of the world to live with strangers I’d met online for 3 months (that made others super nervous for sure).
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But, I did it anyway. Sure, I ran from my office to my best friend’s dining room, but eh, that’s just location. I was going nuts at home and I knew I’d spend every second leading up to it fidgeting with slides and saying it over and over again. As if the 36+ (working on it) hours and I’d spent planning, writing and designing my slides and the insomnia wasn’t enough already.
Nausea and deep breathing aside, post-webinar uncertainties fading with three days have passed, I can say that I do finally feel a bit accomplished.
I took the plunge, I did it and have done it once I’m sure the fear of leaving my comfort off-air zone will be less next time.
Facing “My Weakness”
This experience has reminded me of the importance of mitigating, if not avoid altogether, the pitfalls of my greatest weakest, which not so ironically is my greatest strength. This is totally the answer I’d give in an interview when asked, “What’s your greatest weakness?” And no matter how cliche my response may sound, it really is the most frustrating, yet also most fulfilling part of my personality and way of doing things.
This is totally the answer I’d give in an interview when asked, “What’s your greatest weakness?” And no matter how cliche my response may sound, it really is the most frustrating, yet also most fulfilling part of my personality and way of doing things.
I’m an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist. I really CANNOT help it (although I see now that I must do my best to).
I’m so obsessed with doing my best, that I won’t sleep, I won’t eat, I won’t even think or put an ounce of myself into anything else until I’m done – even when I don’t have to. I seriously can’t help myself from going that extra mile (or ten, but who is counting).
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I’ve watched maybe 20+ webinars and I knew for myself that when I did one, I’d want it to be the most beautiful.
Maybe that’s the photographer in me, but I seriously just couldn’t help but find the most poignant photos (free stock photos, of course, I’m not that crazy) to illustrate the points I was making.
I also knew I’d want beautiful typography. I knew I’d want to create my own graphics and illustrations for my course material. And I did, but to the point where I was all in and then some with nothing left at the end.
I’m not saying I regret investing all this time and energy into creating Webinar 1.0, because I don’t. I look at what I created and it makes me smile (exhausting smile, but a smile none the less). I’m so glad that I have this on deck (haha – pun intended yes) ready to go for round two.
I just realize that I need to keep balance in my life because if not I’ll end up burning out on the regular, which isn’t good for anyone.
Possible Negative Reactions
It’s unfortunate that no matter what you do you will always attract negative reactions. Not everyone will appreciate you, accept you or even applaud your efforts to do your thing. What can I say other than trolls are real and they have wifi under their bridges.
Sing with me now, “Hello, fear of rejection my old friend. I see you’re here to make me feel insecure once again.”
I realize that the more visible I make myself, the more negatively I will be inviting into my life.
This may seem silly, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell you that having two people “dislike” my webinar on YouTube hurt my feelings a bit. It’s a little frustrating to invest so much of myself into something and put myself out there just to have someone make the effort to let me know they “don’t like it.” (Personally, I never dislike anything unless it’s SUPER offensive).
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Put Yourself Out There In Life
I don’t even want to go on YouTube to check how many views I have for fear that someone else disliked it – foolish maybe, weak maybe, but it’s the truth.
This made me wonder about a couple of things.
- Are these people that I know?
- Are they disliking me?
- Disliking my story?
- My belief in my own expertise?
- That I was selling something?
The answers to these questions don’t really matter. I was super tired when I asked them to myself and at the end of the week (hello rested Sunday Nadalie), it doesn’t matter and it’s sure not going to stop me.
And the words of supportive friends and family members will always ellipse any negatively. Thank you to everyone who messaged me words of congratulations, pride, and love.
Just Respect the Process
Hey, I’m not going to all of a sudden wake up one day and be a guru (or Yoda) of webinars (or anything else). The best I can do is my best (I was going to say try, but then I heard Yoda voice saying “there is no try, only do”).
Well, my best without being a super obsessive perfectionist about every single detail. There is a point where you just have to jump in and throw everything else out the window.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
There’s something important that all the nervousness and all the other feels that I never mentioned – that I really need to just respect the process, my process. I’d gotten so wrapped up in doing this one thing that I’d honestly forgotten that it’s all about gaining a new experience that enables me to do even more.
I now know what to expect and more importantly that I can do. It wasn’t perfect, I definitely had misplaced one page of my notes for a certain chunk of slides, but hey, that’s the process.
“Respect the process” has become my mantra for the week and will likely keep me focused and relaxed for many more weeks to come. It’s all a process, you never arrive right away. Just do what you can with the resources you have knowing you’ll build on it tomorrow.
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It’s amazing to come back almost three years later and read this. Since that day, I’ve probably hosted close to 30 webinars. Or Masterclasses as I’ve started calling them.
All these feelings of uncertainty and stress are completely gone. I’ve entirely stopped the negative self-talk for good. I hardly even think about it anymore. I just go live and do my thing. That’s the amazing part about leaving your comfort zone, it just expands where ever you go.
It doesn’t happen by you thinking you can do it, but my getting up and actually doing it over and over until it feels normal.
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Is there anything that you’re working on that you’re having “all the feels” about?
Last Updated on July 11, 2021
