But, struggling to leave your comfort zone and try new things?
You’re not alone!
Fear of repeating past mistakes, fear of judgments, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of being different.
Usually, it’s due to a combination of such fears that prevent us from putting ourselves out there and harnessing valuable opportunities.
I know it’s easy to assume that you’re the only one struggling with such feelings! But the truth is, many people find it difficult to put themselves out there, even though it might not seem that way.
Even the individuals who seem to have it all together, the individuals who always seem calm, the individuals who never appear to make mistakes – they all struggle with such fears from time to time.
I want you to know that you’re not alone.
We all have certain fears and apprehensions.
Learning to overcome such fears is a process, and with persistence and practice, you can definitely transform yourself and come out stronger!
What Does It Mean to Put Yourself Out There?
Putting yourself out there is in the first place understanding what is it that’s holding you back in the first place.
Once you figure out what is causing you to be afraid, you can work on eliminating that fear, unleash your true potential and rise higher.
The change won’t happen overnight, but you have to start somewhere right?
Once you push yourself out of your comfort zone in one area of your life, you will find yourself making progress in other areas of your life as well. It’s all interconnected.
You will gain more confidence and it will become easier for you to move ahead in your journey!
Putting yourself out there involves opening yourself to all the wonderful things the world has to offer and making yourself stronger so that you can overcome your fears and tackle the challenges in the way.
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Your Alternative to Putting Yourself Out There
A lot of times, we feel scared to put ourselves out there because we hold on to past mistakes and failures. This causes us to constantly worry about what could have been…
What’s better? Obsessing over past mistakes and missing out on opportunities in the present or learning from the past and using the lessons in the present to live a happier and more fulfilling life?
Putting yourself out there is challenging, but if it were easy you wouldn’t even think about giving your best effort. You would become complacent as you wouldn’t grow out of your comfort zone. You wouldn’t learn new skills or find the motivation to become the best version of yourself.
Why Should You Put Yourself Out There?
Most of the time it’s the fear of failure that prevents you from putting yourself out there, taking action and making positive changes in your life.
You don’t give your best effort to your goals due to your fears and apprehensions. And, you prevent yourself from finding out what you could achieve if you just took that first step and overcame your fears.
Remember that fears will always be there, it’s normal, but you have to make sure they don’t overpower you or stop you from living your best life!
We all stumble and experience failure at different points in our lives.
It’s not a good feeling. Nobody likes to fail.
Although it’s understandable that you would avoid putting yourself out there to not experience failure, this approach will do more harm than good.
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Even in experiencing failure, you become wiser and stronger. You learn to be courageous, take bold decisions, overcome your apprehensions and stand up for what feels right to you!
Aren’t those good enough reasons for taking a chance and putting yourself out there?
By putting yourself out there, you get access to various opportunities to expand your horizons. These opportunities will go unnoticed if you don’t actively look for them. Also, by putting yourself out there, you can meet like-minded people who will support you and help you grow.
The choices we make every day shape our lives. So, choose to overcome your fears and unleash your greatest potential!
What Can Really Happen When You Put Yourself Out There?
Apart from the fear of failure, the fear of judgment is also one of the most common reasons why people find it hard to put themselves out there. We worry about what others will think of us. We worry about not being accepted.
Of course, we want the approval of others but let’s face it, we cannot have everyone loving us!
Brooke Castillo, a renowned life coach, had said that she started to not care about what others think of her because she realized that no matter what she says or does, people will have something negative to say! So, she says that “I let people be wrong about me”. Not everyone likes me just like I don’t like everyone!
- You may worry that people will judge you negatively. However, look at it in a different way. When you put yourself out there, you may find many positive people who will appreciate you, encourage you and support you in your journey to success!
- The same goes for the fear of failure. Why would you assume that you will most certainly fail if you take risks and put yourself out there? What can really happen?
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You can succeed.
Your drive to succeed should be greater than your fear of failing! This drive will push you forward and help you stay on track despite numerous setbacks!
- You can’t please everyone, so there’s no point in wasting your time and energy worrying what other people might think of you. When you internalize this fact, you can start focusing solely on achieving your goals, without any inhibitions.
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- Embracing who you really are is also important. When we are afraid of not being loved for who we really are, it can be hard to embrace our true selves and put ourselves out there. But being loved for who we are is an amazing feeling. You should discover who you are and be yourself. No matter what, whether people like you or not, you have nothing to lose by being your true self!
What Does It Mean to Be Yourself?
As I said, it’s not always easy to be our true selves because we are afraid of being rejected for who we are.
However, by feeding this fear, you’re essentially giving away your power to others. You’re indirectly letting other people decide what you should with your life!
A lot of times we act in a certain way to please others and make sure they think fondly of us. We end up ignoring our own needs and losing our ways instead of aligning with our true selves.
In an attempt to not be criticized or judged by others, we tend to hide our true selves.
Ultimately, you will have to live with the consequences of your decisions, not them. If you’re not truly happy with yourself, your actions and your life, all of the pleasing, conforming, and following other people isn’t going to do anything for you. You will be miserable…
Putting on a facade for others’ validation keeps you from living a fulfilling life.
So, decide what’s best for you, and stay true to your opinions instead of trying to live up to the expectations of other people. Put yourself out there and see what you can achieve when you get past your inhibitions!
- Realize that if you don’t align with your true self, your attitude, behaviours, and perspectives will change. This shift will take you away from what you really want in life. So, the more you try to hide who you truly are, the more you lose your sense of purpose.
- Understand that you cannot control other people’s thoughts anyway! As long as you are happy with yourself and do the right thing, other’s opinions don’t matter.
- Pay attention to your thoughts. Understanding your thoughts is the first step to transforming your mindset!
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- Accept your natural personality. Don’t subdue your natural personality to fit in the crowd. Being yourself means letting of any labels that you have accepted to please other people.
- Change the way you look at your individual differences and unique traits. The very thing you may feel like you need to hide or change could actually help you to shine.
- Don’t compare yourself to other people. You don’t have to beat anyone. You should only compare yourself to who you were yesterday!
5 Ways to Put Yourself Out There More
#1. In Your Life
How to put yourself out there in life?
When you put yourself out there in life, you discover who you are.
This is important because when you are aware of your strengths, you can play to them and when you accept your weaknesses, no one can use them against you.
Also, when you go after what you want in life, you will not have any regrets. You will discover what you can achieve once you push yourself out of your comfort zone.
The first step towards putting yourself out there in life is to be aware of the things that make you feel scared of putting yourself out there.
Is it fear of judgment? Is it fear of failure? Or is it the fear of looking like a fool?
Putting yourself out there is about acknowledging any such fears and working towards conquering them.
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To put yourself out there more in life:
- Be clear about what you want in life so that you can stick to it, no matter what.
- Get excited about what you can experience and learn after pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.
- Remember that you can have many great ideas, but unless you work on your ideas and share your insights with others, your ideas are of no use. Putting yourself out there provides you with the opportunity to share your unique ideas and insights with the world. You can help others, learn from others and also enhance your existing knowledge.
- Don’t undermine yourself, your opinions and perspectives.
- Don’t worry about being perfect. A lot of times things won’t go exactly according to your plan but it’s okay. Doing something worthwhile is better than doing absolutely nothing.
- Most of the time things aren’t as bad as we imagine them to be. We are wired in such a way that our brains tend to overemphasize negative events. I know it’s scary and overwhelming to even think about putting yourself out there. So, start small!
Every day, do one little thing that scares you and then you will start gaining more confidence. As you keep completing these small steps, you will find yourself feeling less anxious while performing a new task outside your comfort zone!
#2. Your Love Life
How to put yourself out there in love and romance?
When it comes to dating and building romantic relationships, putting yourself out there can increase your chances of finding a good partner!
You can meet people from diverse backgrounds, and you can figure out what qualities you like or don’t like in a potential romantic partner. Even if things don’t work out as you’d hope, you can learn about interesting life experiences and form life-long connections.
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To put yourself out there in love:
- Schedule time to meet more people. Try to attend more social events, and be open to meeting new people.
- Don’t be afraid of showing your true self. Pretending to be someone you’re not is only going to hurt you in the long term. When you are real and show your true self, you can connect with the right kind of people, which will increase your chances of building a solid, long-term relationship. It will help both you and your potential partner to get clear on what to expect in the relationship.
- Don’t make assumptions based on the negative experiences from your past. Spend time and thought to choose a partner before writing them off based on any preconceived notions or judgments you might have.
- Appreciate yourself! Appreciating your skills, talents, and personality will help you be truly confident in yourself. Embracing yourself and loving yourself for who you are is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have!
#3. Your Social Life
How to put yourself out there socially?
Many of us go out of our ways to avoid people at various social events. Whether it is due to nervousness, anxiety or self-consciousness, a lot of people find it hard to put themselves out there socially.
But the feeling of overcoming a challenging task is unparalleled.
Putting yourself out there in social situations allows you to meet new people, become more open-minded, and have a large network of people who can help you in different ways.
How to put yourself out there socially:
- Be more curious. Apart from clearly communicating your ideas and opinions, you must also seek other people’s ideas. Ask questions. Listen carefully. Be genuinely interested in learning about their life experiences. This way you can have an effective exchange of thoughts and feelings, and you will be able to make more friends. If you are worried about having the spotlight on you, this is a good way to ease into any conversation.
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- Get in touch with people who have the same hobbies and interests as you. Join a class, a book club or volunteer at different events. Meeting people with the same interests as you will give you something to discuss without worrying too much about what to say. Gradually you will become more confident and comfortably interact with people with varied interests and perspectives.
- Stay in the present moment! Don’t analyze too much what the other person is saying. Many people tend to overthink little bits of conversation, which makes them nervous and anxious. So, stay present and mindful during a conversation and take it at face value. When you are listening to someone, simply listen without making any judgments.
#4. Your Professional Life
How to put yourself out there in your career or job?
Putting yourself out there in your career can help you meet new people, discover jobs you like, and find new companies in your industry.
Whether you already have a job or looking for a new one, positioning yourself effectively in your industry can significantly improve your career growth and development.
Here are a few ways to put yourself out there in your career.
- Change the way you talk about yourself. Many people hesitate to talk about their skills, achievements, and talents. They think they might come across insincere and boastful. However, this type of attitude can keep you from reaching out to people you admire and getting the jobs you want.
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There’s a difference between bragging and sincerely talking about your expertise and the services you can offer. By talking about your achievements and skills, you are letting your potential employer know how you can help them in finding effective solutions.
- Focus on improving your existing skillset. I know competition can seem fierce in the job market. So, take some time out every day to learn new useful skills or hone your existing skills. Even if it’s 30 minutes a day, doing something every day to improve yourself can add up and help you stay on top of your game.
- Keep yourself updated with any relevant news or events related to your industry. This will give you something to discuss and help you to connect with other professionals.
#5. Your College Life
How to put yourself out there in college?
Meeting new people and making friends is only one of the advantages of putting yourself out there in college. Apart from improved social life, putting yourself out there during your college years can help you to attract valuable opportunities for relevant internships, part-time jobs, and study abroad programs.
Taking advantage of such opportunities can boost your personal and professional development.
Consider the following tips for putting yourself out there in college.
- Don’t underestimate the power of non-verbal communication. If initiating a conversation on your own seems too hard, try using non-verbal cues to your advantage.
Your body language plays a huge role in the way you are perceived by other people. Having a good posture, smiling, and making eye contact is crucial while interacting with other people. This way, you will come across as more approachable and friendly.
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- Putting yourself in new situations can be really uncomfortable. But don’t try to resist the uncomfortable feelings or escape the situation as soon as possible. Hold on for a little while longer and the unpleasant feelings will start to dissipate. You will come out stronger and more determined!
- Don’t just assume that people will judge you or won’t like you for who you are. Because when you do that, you automatically become more reserved and start avoiding conversations. Instead, when you feel confident in yourself and initiate a conversation, you will find that others are actually interested in talking to you and all your fears were only in your mind.
- Don’t wait for others to come to you, just go ahead and warmly greet other people when you are participating in any event or group activity.
- Seek advice from your professors at college. By regularly interacting with your professors, you can gain valuable insights about the career of your choice which can help you advance your professional development!
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Build Confidence By Putting Yourself Out There
Putting yourself out there is related to building your self-confidence!
When you are confident in yourself, you will be more comfortable putting yourself out there.
When you are self-confident, you will not hesitate to take advantage of the opportunities around you. You will always be ready to take action and make the most of what you have. With self-confidence, it becomes easier for you to overcome your fears, as a result, you let go of your inhibitions!
So, it comes as no surprise that successful people are usually the ones who have developed the skill of self-confidence. Yes, self-confidence is a skill anyone can develop!
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Start Believing in Your Abilities
In order to be successful in any endeavour, you need to truly believe in your abilities. And to strengthen this belief, you must work towards boosting your self-confidence. There are several ways to do that as you can learn from this post with Questions About Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem.
When you have faith in your abilities, you’re less likely to be overwhelmed by unpleasant situations. This is crucial since, in your journey to achieving success, you will face many obstacles and unpleasant situations.
To overcome such situations, you must believe that you can successfully tackle any challenge in your journey. Self-confidence allows you to believe you are worthy of achieving success, so you put in the effort and stay consistent!
Also, failure and setbacks are inevitable. Everyone goes through failures. The key to not get too deeply affected by failure is self-confidence. Having self-confidence allows you to pick yourself back up and try again.
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Putting Yourself Out There is a Skill To Develop
We all have to start somewhere.
If you don’t even get started, how can you make progress?
No matter how small your efforts might seem in the beginning, keep putting yourself out there. The more you do it, the more you develop this skill, the more positive changes you see in your life and the less afraid you are of being judged or rejected.
And, sometimes, in order to get started, we need a little push!
This FREE resource containing numerous power-packed quotes and affirmations is what you need to get started each day.
Get Your Positive Affirmations
Ready to start living the secrets to happiness? Get your FREE 12 Printable Affirmations to help you start thinking and living more positively today.
Realize Your True Potential
You have immense strength and courage within you. All you need to do is tap into that strength and you can significantly increase your chances of achieving success.
Remember, your fears can overpower you only if you let them. It’s time to take back control!
It all starts with that one decision – to let go of your inhibitions, put yourself out there and share with the world your unique, awesome self.
What do you think stops a person from putting themselves out there? Have you ever let go of a promising opportunity in your life due to your fears?
How can you put yourself out there more?
More About Guest Contributor
Tamara Pflug is a certified life coach & personal development expert, she’s the owner of Personal Development Zone. She’s passionate about helping millennials (like her!) reach their full potential and become more self-confident. Through her blog and podcast, you can learn how to bring your hidden confidence out and start living the life you want to live!
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