Do you need to overcome perfectionism being “good enough’?
Are you tired of being a perfectionist? It's exhausting always trying to be perfect. Here's how you can STOP! @askteetravel #mindset #mindfulness #Perfectionism Click To Tweet
I use to find myself getting stressed out, not meeting deadlines and watching work build up quicker than it was getting out. I focused too much energy on one thing, that I couldn’t finish and felt like a failure.
Eventually, I worked out the one word that held me back, perfection.
Maybe you can relate? Are you contant striving for perfection keeping you from being successful?
Back in August 2016, I launched my website and it was very exciting. Then, the most nerve-racking time came when I had to publish my first post. Thoughts of doubt were circling…
Is this good enough?
Will anyone read it?
What if no one likes this?
It was embedded into me (by myself) that I had to have everything perfect.
Pushing publish on my first article had the mixed emotions above, but the best feeling was satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with this word and as soon as I replaced it with perfection, it all changed.
I had to stop worrying about being perfect, so I could make progress.
Is being obsessed with perfectionism and stressing over being good enough and every tiny detail, holding you back from achieving your goals?
Are you ready to let go of being a perfectionist and start being satisfied with yourself and your work instead? Here’s how.
Understanding the Obsessed with Perfection
The word that comes to mind when I think of ‘perfect’ is negativity.
We have all known from a young age that no one is perfect. And that we shouldn’t go through life trying to be perfect because we will almost fail from the outset and throughout.
But knowing this doesn’t stop us from having anxiety over not being perfect all the time.
The solution to perfection obsession is to focus on the new word for perfection, satisfaction, think of the 180 mind-shift you can do in your life. When I began to feel satisfied this made me happy and wanted to work a lot harder.
Now satisfaction isn’t a substitute for everything. This is very important. You can not do things half-a** just to finish something off when it is important. But you do need to draw a line and not cross it.
- if you wanted to make gravy but it didn’t taste as good as the last. Don’t keep adding ingredients in case you make it worse, just be satisfied with where it’s at.
- If you’re wanting to go for a job interview, try to pick out the best attire that you are absolutely happy (rather than satisfied) with so you don’t stress later.
Start to think from another point of view and if you are happy with what you have got right now.
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You Achieve More When You Stop Being a Perfectionist
Fast forward to December 2017. One of the Facebook groups I am in, one of the ladies started a blog post challenge. She basically had heaps of work that she wanted to get out and asked if anyone else was in the same position.
A few of us decided to stop being a perfectionist and set a challenge for 12 posts in 12 days. From December 12 to December 23 we were aiming to publish the 12 blog posts. I knew straight away, with a tiny bit of reservation, that I should and want to do this.
It really was another push to let go of being a perfectionist. Creating real and truthful content that others would find useful is why I created my blog, not to portray the perfect life.
Is being a perfectionist holding you back from showing other’s it’s okay to not be perfect?
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I successfully posted all 12 articles within the 12 days and I felt super happy and satisfied. Yes, there were a few late nights to 11 pm when I pushed publish. But that’s because Christmas is a busy time, not because perfection was holding me back.
Before this challenge, I was obsessed with making every article perfect that I found myself only posting once every month! That didn’t make me very happy, but this challenge (which really was a challenge) was perfect. Pun intended.
How to Stop Being A Perfectionist
Now this ‘letting go of perfection’ doesn’t just apply to my blog. This is my new way of life in general now (and you should consider this too, not just for your blog/business etc). I’ve changed so much in the last twelve months and this is from a lot of angles.
Read on for how you can stop being perfect in all areas of your life and embrace being good enough.
Friendships and relationships
Getting rid of toxic relationships/friendships. This can be with certain people, groups, memberships, sporting teams, work colleagues, and environments. Ones that just make you upset, angry, fake or agreeing to things you don’t want or making out that you’re life is perfect for pressure.
I have had experiences like these, and for years I let it happen. I’d let some people walk over me, pressure me into things (or not doing things) and making me feel worse about myself.
Through “friendships” and social media, our lives are accessible to anyone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can stop being a perfectionist in your relationships by getting rid of these people as soon as you can.
It doesn’t have to be in a hostile way, gently grow apart, avoid the gatherings or cut back on the communication.
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Out with the bad and in with the good, or keeping the good. Those family members, friends, work colleagues and other relationships you keep that are good for you.
The ones where you can be yourself and have support from those you can trust. Ones that aren’t going to judge you, talk about you behind your back or stab you in it. Ones who can be honest with you and listen to you.
Having people in your life who actually listen to you is so important. When you have these types of relationships you don’t have to be perfect or show a perfect life. This is when you are 100% real and being perfect doesn’t come into play at all. Having these great people around me is another reason why I don’t care about being perfect anymore.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 6 Steps to Staying Positive No Matter What Happens
When I took the leap
Over the past couple of years, I’ve realized the people who fit into my life and those that don’t. I have not ruined the relationships, but I’ve walked away from such “friendships and relationships” that are not good for me.
This has been a very slow process as I’ve known for years I have had to do it, but it’s hard. Truth be told, it was really hard. To walk away from friendships that I’ve had for years made me sad.
The reality though, was that these people just didn’t care about me at all or anymore. I kept trying and eventually it clicked and I had to remove myself from it all.
Take the leap to get away from toxic friends or those that you can’t be yourself around, they are just not worth it. A lot of these people project these perfect lives on social media or when we are at gatherings and it’s fake. They lie about things, over exaggerate or say one thing to someone and another to someone else.
Perfection can bring drama and I’m not about that. If you don’t like drama or these ‘be-careful-what-you-say’ groups, get out of them! When you stop being perfect, you stop being fake too!
Being Known As A Social Girl
Growing up, I’ve never been one of the popular girls, even though friends say that.
I am more of a social person that a lot of people know and I know a lot of people. This persona that has been with me for many years makes me feel great and crap. Great because it makes you feel good to be known by people or you know them.
But crap because I felt like I always had to be social, know what is going on or be entertaining for everyone.
Fully Embracing My Happy Not-Perfect Life
The craziest thing I have found with letting go of perfectionism is happiness. And isn’t that what we are all after?
All we want for ourselves and our loved ones is to be healthy and happy. So after I’ve let go of friendships, trying to gain followers on Instagram, writing the perfect articles on my blog etc – I’m so happy!
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy before but I’d feel low and that I wasn’t getting anywhere.
It’s still happening of discovering who my true friends are and how to get sh*t done, but I’m happy. I still have bad days at work, nights out, low post engagement but no drama. No pressure to feel like I need to be perfect. It’s a toxic mindset that should be thrown out immediately.
Why I Don’t Care About Being Perfect, and Neither Should You
I hope when reading this you can take the leap of letting go of being perfect.
Whether that’s in your family, friendships, your business, romantic relationships, blog, social media etc. The one thing that makes you different from anybody else in the world, is you.
Being yourself and not feeling like you have to be perfect will make you smile. If not, at least you can avoid hearing or getting crap from other people. As when someone looks at you: who doesn’t have to pretend or smiles ear to ear all the time, they want to know your secret.
I don’t care about being perfect, I’m just doing me and as exactly as this website (that I’m lucky enough to be a guest) says, it’s all you boo!
Have any questions, comments or want to talk more about letting go of being a perfectionist?
Leave a comment below and let’s chat!
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Last Updated on January 13, 2020