How do you pursue your dreams and prioritize your family?
Can you balance your dreams and your kids?
Are you a parent with big dreams who isn't sure how to balance it all? You're allowed to put yourself first sometimes! Click here to find out how by @SarahSageAdvice #parents #family #goalsetting #achieveClick To Tweet
Becoming a parent can be the most rewarding step you ever take in your life, it can also hinder your path to your dreams if you let it.
As a mom, I know how hard it can be to tend to your kids, be there for their needs, be present with them, give them attention, and how all of that can take up every minute of the day.
However, being a mom does not have to stop you from pursuing your dreams whatever they may be.
There is so much that goes into pursuing your dreams and the steps will vary for each person.
My dreams may take less work then your dreams but no matter what you hope to accomplish outside of motherhood it may make you take time away from your kids.
It can be a real balancing act between giving time to your kids and family and giving time to everything else you hope to accomplish. Here are 8 steps you can take to balance your dreams and your kids.
Where’s the Balance?
Honestly, I’m not sure yet of my own balance. I am sure that what will work for me may be different for you. Every person is different, every mom is different, and all of our kids are different and so that means that our journeys will be different.
Before having my kids, I wanted to start my own business, I wanted to be my own boss, and I wanted to be successful. First, I am a firm believer that success is a variable measurement, and second, it took me two years after having my daughter for me to realize these are still achievable.
However, my dreams have changed but I still have dreams and I plan to do everything I can to reach them.
I have found many things that will just have to give for me to be able to keep pursuing all the ambitious and lofty dreams I had before kids and after.
#1. Keep the Guilt at Bay
It can bring on a lot of guilt when you take time for yourself. I admit every time I try to take time to lock myself in a room and let my husband watch the kids I feel guilty.
In order to really focus on work, I have to blast music in my headphones. If I hear my kids playing or crying, it hurts.
- That I’m not in there comforting them,
- To not be in there playing with them and smiling with them,
- When they cry for mommy and I have to just let daddy take care of it.
#2. Self-Love and Positive Thinking
One of the biggest hinderances to my motivation daily is my own defeating mindset. I personally have been working a lot on self-love and changing my thought process from negative to positive.
How does this help in pursuing your dreams?
Have you ever found yourself saying:
- “I cannot continue this because of the kids,”
- “I cannot work right now because I will not do a good job,”
- “I’m not worthy,”
- “My dreams are unachievable,” or
- “My dreams are just that, dreams.”
Each of these beliefs and any variation of them are killing your motivation. You cannot reach your dreams if you have no motivation to try.
You’ll never reach your goals if you do not take steps to achieve them. When we have a negative inner voice telling us that we are incapable or not worthy then we believe it and lose motivation. Motivation is extremely important when it comes to pushing ourselves to pursue our dreams.
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Practice Positive Affirmations
Here are a few wonderful positive affirmations to help you change your negative mindset to positive and to help you gain motivation.
- By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
- I expect to be successful in all my endeavors.
- Mistakes and setbacks are stepping stones to my success because I learn from them.
- I see fear as a fuel for my success and take bold action in spite of fear.
- Yes, I feel motivated and I am moving in the direction of my dreams.
- I am motivated to continue pursuing my goals.
- My life is full of purpose and motivation.
- I am happy and motivated when I achieve my goals.
- Yes, I wake up energized and ready to face the day.
- I am highly motivated, driven and ambitious.
#3. Prioritize Yourself Too
Your kids and family should always be a high priority for you, but they should not always be your first priority. You can’t possibly balance being a mom and following your dreams, without being able to prioritize yourself too.
Have you ever heard that to have a happy marriage you should not always put your kids first? This is the same.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Just like sometimes you have to put your marriage first and sometimes you should put your dreams first. Perhaps instead of signing your child up for every after-school activity, choose one.
Make sure your time is not tied completely up by your children. A little self-care goes a long way.
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#4. Realize You Don’t Have to Do It All
Being a mom today can mean so much. It can be hard to get around the judgment. From the judgment for staying at home, to judgment for working, and judgment for how you raise your kids, there’s so much that rides on moms making us feel like we always have to be perfect.
Remember that no matter what you do there is no perfection. Don’t compare yourself to others. You do not have to be the perfect mom that makes personalized lunches every day, the mom that sews all their kids clothes, the mom that homeschools and creates beautiful lessons for their children.
No, you do not have to be the mom that puts their full attention to their kids. You are able to let some things slide so you can move your attention to something else, like your dreams.
Instead of waking early to make them a big hearty breakfast every morning perhaps wake early to sit and work. Take three steps a day to your goal and put everything else aside and do not worry if something gets put aside for you to do so.
#5. Ask for Help
When you need it, do not be afraid to ask for help.
Ask your husband to watch the kids so you can shut yourself in a room and work.
Ask your kids, when they’re old enough, to help you.
Now, what do you do to reach your dreams when you do give yourself the time?
#6. Create a Detailed Action Plan
It can be hard to reach your dreams if you do not define steps to get there. No lofty dream can be reached in one leap. It’s often a long ladder of steps. Define each step to get where you want to be, then define sub-steps to do every day.
Make sure each of your goals is pointing you in the right direction. It can be hard to get sidetracked as you change, as your goals change, even as your end goal or dream may change.
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Re-evaluate as you go along.
Where are you now and where do you hope to be?
#7. Write it Down
There’s a different sense of accountability you have when you make a goal when you just think it versus when you say it out loud to yourself.
Or perhaps when you say it out loud to another person versus when you write it down.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Manage Your Time as a Work-at-Home Mom
It can be easy to lose sight of your plan if you do not write it down. Write down each step you created and each sub-step. Look at that plan every day, even multiple times a day, to follow along with the steps.
You can also more create balance in your life when you are organized with a written plan.
#8. Ask for Feedback
One of the biggest steps I can be reserved about when it comes to achieving my dreams and goals is sharing it with others.
It is so important to remember you are not alone. Your dreams should not be secret, and you should not do it alone. Ask someone close to you for feedback on each of your steps.
If you’re stumped on what to do, then ask for other opinions. If you receive negative feedback remember not to quit but rather to accept the feedback and see if it fits your end goal.
Change what you agree with.
Printable Daily & Weekly Planners
It’s time to find balance, starting with how you schedule your time. Get the Printable Daily and Weekly Planners, perfect for planning your days and weeks with time for your kids and your dreams.
It can be so easy as a mom to let mommy-hood put all your other dreams and goals aside.
We can say “when they get older,” “when they go to school,” “when they’re able to listen better.” But there are many ways to have children and still keep working towards your dreams.
The biggest point of all of this is to reflect on what you want. If you want to pursue your dreams, then you need to ask yourself:
Do you have dreams and goals you’d like to achieve?
Do you have ambitions that you’d like to reach before you are an empty nester?
Set your goals, make steps, and make your dreams a priority.