How do you pursue your dreams and prioritize your family?
Can you balance your dreams and your kids?
Are you a parent with big dreams who isn't sure how to balance it all? You're allowed to put yourself first sometimes! Click here to find out how by @SarahSageAdvice #parents #family #goalsetting #achieve
Becoming a parent can be the most rewarding step you ever take in your life, it can also hinder your path to your dreams if you let it.
As a mom, I know how hard it can be to tend to your kids, be there for their needs, be present with them, give them attention, and how all of that can take up every minute of the day.
However, being a mom does not have to stop you from pursuing your dreams whatever they may be.
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There is so much that goes into pursuing your dreams and the steps will vary for each person.
My dreams may take less work then your dreams but no matter what you hope to accomplish outside of motherhood it may make you take time away from your kids.
It can be a real balancing act between giving time to your kids and family and giving time to everything else you hope to accomplish. Here are 8 steps you can take to balance your dreams and your kids.
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Where’s the Balance?
Honestly, I’m not sure yet of my own balance. I am sure that what will work for me may be different for you. Every person is different, every mom is different, and all of our kids are different and so that means that our journeys will be different.
Before having my kids, I wanted to start my own business, I wanted to be my own boss, and I wanted to be successful. First, I am a firm believer that success is a variable measurement, and second, it took me two years after having my daughter for me to realize these are still achievable.
However, my dreams have changed but I still have dreams and I plan to do everything I can to reach them.
I have found many things that will just have to give for me to be able to keep pursuing all the ambitious and lofty dreams I had before kids and after.
#1. Keep the Guilt at Bay
It can bring on a lot of guilt when you take time for yourself. I admit every time I try to take time to lock myself in a room and let my husband watch the kids I feel guilty.
In order to really focus on work, I have to blast music in my headphones. If I hear my kids playing or crying, it hurts.
It hurts…
- That I’m not in there comforting them,
- To not be in there playing with them and smiling with them,
- When they cry for mommy and I have to just let daddy take care of it.
It can be a hard thing to do, asking for help, because as moms we tend to have ingrained in us this need to be everything and do everything for our kids.
#2. Self-Love and Positive Thinking
One of the biggest hinderances to my motivation daily is my own defeating mindset. I personally have been working a lot on self-love and changing my thought process from negative to positive.
How does this help in pursuing your dreams?
Have you ever found yourself saying:
- “I cannot continue this because of the kids,”
- “I cannot work right now because I will not do a good job,”
- “I’m not worthy,”
- “My dreams are unachievable,” or
- “My dreams are just that, dreams.”
Each of these beliefs and any variation of them are killing your motivation. You cannot reach your dreams if you have no motivation to try.
You’ll never reach your goals if you do not take steps to achieve them. When we have a negative inner voice telling us that we are incapable or not worthy then we believe it and lose motivation. Motivation is extremely important when it comes to pushing ourselves to pursue our dreams.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 6 Steps to Staying Positive No Matter What Happens
Practice Positive Affirmations
Here are a few wonderful positive affirmations to help you change your negative mindset to positive and to help you gain motivation.
- By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
- I expect to be successful in all my endeavors.
- Mistakes and setbacks are stepping stones to my success because I learn from them.
- I see fear as a fuel for my success and take bold action in spite of fear.
- Yes, I feel motivated and I am moving in the direction of my dreams.
- I am motivated to continue pursuing my goals.
- My life is full of purpose and motivation.
- I am happy and motivated when I achieve my goals.
- Yes, I wake up energized and ready to face the day.
- I am highly motivated, driven and ambitious.
#3. Prioritize Yourself Too
Your kids and family should always be a high priority for you, but they should not always be your first priority. You can’t possibly balance being a mom and following your dreams, without being able to prioritize yourself too.
Have you ever heard that to have a happy marriage you should not always put your kids first? This is the same.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Just like sometimes you have to put your marriage first and sometimes you should put your dreams first. Perhaps instead of signing your child up for every after-school activity, choose one.
Make sure your time is not tied completely up by your children. A little self-care goes a long way.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Why You Need to Schedule Mommy Alone Time
#4. Realize You Don’t Have to Do It All
Being a mom today can mean so much. It can be hard to get around the judgment. From the judgment for staying at home, to judgment for working, and judgment for how you raise your kids, there’s so much that rides on moms making us feel like we always have to be perfect.
Remember that no matter what you do there is no perfection. Don’t compare yourself to others. You do not have to be the perfect mom that makes personalized lunches every day, the mom that sews all their kids clothes, the mom that homeschools and creates beautiful lessons for their children.
No, you do not have to be the mom that puts their full attention to their kids. You are able to let some things slide so you can move your attention to something else, like your dreams.
Instead of waking early to make them a big hearty breakfast every morning perhaps wake early to sit and work. Take three steps a day to your goal and put everything else aside and do not worry if something gets put aside for you to do so.
#5. Ask for Help
When you need it, do not be afraid to ask for help.
Ask your husband to watch the kids so you can shut yourself in a room and work.
You can ask your neighbor to perhaps pick the kids up from school for you. Or ask your sister to babysit for a couple hours.
Ask your kids, when they’re old enough, to help you.
Now, what do you do to reach your dreams when you do give yourself the time?
#6. Create a Detailed Action Plan
It can be hard to reach your dreams if you do not define steps to get there. No lofty dream can be reached in one leap. It’s often a long ladder of steps. Define each step to get where you want to be, then define sub-steps to do every day.
Make sure each of your goals is pointing you in the right direction. It can be hard to get sidetracked as you change, as your goals change, even as your end goal or dream may change.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Take Action When You Can’t Get Started
Re-evaluate as you go along.
Where are you now and where do you hope to be?
#7. Write it Down
There’s a different sense of accountability you have when you make a goal when you just think it versus when you say it out loud to yourself.
Or perhaps when you say it out loud to another person versus when you write it down.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Manage Your Time as a Work-at-Home Mom
It can be easy to lose sight of your plan if you do not write it down. Write down each step you created and each sub-step. Look at that plan every day, even multiple times a day, to follow along with the steps.
You can also more create balance in your life when you are organized with a written plan.
#8. Ask for Feedback
One of the biggest steps I can be reserved about when it comes to achieving my dreams and goals is sharing it with others.
It is so important to remember you are not alone. Your dreams should not be secret, and you should not do it alone. Ask someone close to you for feedback on each of your steps.
If you’re stumped on what to do, then ask for other opinions. If you receive negative feedback remember not to quit but rather to accept the feedback and see if it fits your end goal.
Change what you agree with.
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It can be so easy as a mom to let mommy-hood put all your other dreams and goals aside.
We can say “when they get older,” “when they go to school,” “when they’re able to listen better.” But there are many ways to have children and still keep working towards your dreams.
The biggest point of all of this is to reflect on what you want. If you want to pursue your dreams, then you need to ask yourself:
Do you have dreams and goals you’d like to achieve?
Do you have ambitions that you’d like to reach before you are an empty nester?
Set your goals, make steps, and make your dreams a priority.
Are you ready to balance your dreams and your kids?
More About Guest Contributor
Last Updated on November 1, 2024
Kristi McAllister says
I don’t have children, but I can only imagine what it must be like to be a mom, a career woman, and a significant other all at the same time. I loved all your tips because I’m sure “mom guilt” is a major stumbling block for parents everywhere! Kudos. Great post!
Sarah says
Thank you. It can be tough. I also have an MBA and also at times have guilt of not utilizing it or not enough. It can definitely be a huge balancing act.
Teresa says
I think it is possible if you have a good support system in place at home. Like your husband has to also support your dreams and other help maybe from siblings or parents. If you have an unwilling partner, it would be very difficult to fulfill dreams and be the best parent.
Sarah says
It can definitely be hard if you don’t have a supportive husband but still not impossible.
CourtneyLynne says
Ahhhhh the balancing act can sure be tough!!! I’m chasing my dreams daily while chasing my kiddo around!!
Sarah says
You got this momma.
Ashley says
I don’t have kids and I still have trouble balancing everything. I can’t imagine being a parent and trying to do it all.
Sarah says
It’s a challenge and there are so many deserving of so much praise for everything they juggle. Even for mommas that may not be “working”
Shana says
Yes, yes, yes! Being a mom and balancing it all is a constant struggle. we want to be perfect but we can’t do it all. Your tips are great! I like #7 Write it down. I was just talking about that on Instagram this week! I was speaking in terms of cardio goals, but it really does work for everything. It helps us remember, holds us accountable, and just gives us sanity in an otherwise chaotic world.
Sarah says
I write so many lists and goals and tasks. I always have to have it on pen and paper too. There’s still something more tangible in that. It’s a life saver some days.
Ophelia T says
It is so hard in being a parent. These are great information in balancing your kids and your own personal goals. Thanks for sharing.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Ophelia,
You’re doing great! I hope Sarah’s tips help you find balance. =)
Indrani says
Yes it is a struggle to balance all and try scoring 10 on 10 on all fronts. Very wise advice given. I have often asked for help.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Indrani,
The struggle is so real – every parent is a hero in my eyes!
Elizabeth Uchealor says
Thank you for sharing, finding that balance can be a tough call, but we must do our best as moms to get the two sides of the coin that matter to us.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Elizabeth,
You’re so right, moms (and dads) are doing the best they can. Balance is what you make of it.
Aine Mulloy says
Don’t have children myself but can imagine there must be lots of balancing to ensure what needs to get done is done
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Aine,
Me neither, but man do I know it’s a challenge to balance. It’s hard enough to do it all without little ones.
Deimarys Colon says
#4 though. I am a single mom so, i literally have to do it all. I have good days, bad days and, “I don’t even want to talk about it” kinda days. But we get through!.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Deimarys,
You’re my hero! I’m sure your kids appreciate all that you do!
Lifewithzg says
I can totally relate with you. As a solo mom I really need to delay my goals to take good care of my daughter. But I dont have regrets, she’s all worthy.
Sarah says
It can definitely be hard. Especially because our kids always come first.
Marcel says
I’m not sure if I ever want to be a mum. All I hear is people complaining about their children. They only say positive things when they want to brag – is it a rule?
Sarah says
No but the complaints are just always a bit… like it’s tough and tiring and can be frustrating BUT I wouldn’t change it for the world because I love them so much. It can be taxing. It’s not for everyone. But it’s also so very rewarding.
Kat says
Yes, I’ve been struggling to figure out how to balance kids with following my dream. Being mommy all day is kind of mind numbing so I feel the need to have some mental stimulation but still working on that balance. Your post is really helpful and reassuring. Thank you.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Kat,
I can only imagine how challenging it is to balance both. I so agree that Sarah’s post provides helpful advice. Best of luck finding the balance.
Karla says
I can totally relate to this. I have a 6 year old daughter and as a mother you need to prioritize your kids. One of the most important when you become a mother is keeping your kids happy and safe. 🙂
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Karla,
Glad to hear it’s relatable! I think it is something parents struggle with and usually ignore until their babies are grown and safely out of the nest.
Shaily says
Very helpful post! You’ve listed great tips to strike a balance between raising kids and pursuing your dreams. I’ll be sharing it to my friends who have kids.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Shaily,
I so agree, Sarah provided such actionable advice on finding the balance! Thanks so much for sharing.
Stephanie Tenney says
I do not have kids but these tips could come in handy even with balancing work, life and caring for my husband.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Stephanie,
Me neither, but I think the struggle for balance is relatable to us all. I feel guilty too. Let’s all try to balance things a bit better. I know I need to. =)
Evelyn says
Thanks for this empowering and relatable post! I find that while parenting and pursuing dreams, there is always a balance. Your point of remembering that we need not do it all, is key. Just remembering this helps me to take some deep breathes… and go from there. 😀
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Evelyn,
You’re quite right! There so needs to be, no matter what our situations a balance. Health and work, family and hustle. Deep breathes all around. =)
George Simon says
Awesome post! It’s so easy to feel guilty for working instead of spending time with kids, but it’s good to remember that your hard work will benefit them as well in the end!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey George,
That’s a great way of thinking about it. You’re pursuing your dreams and working hard for them. I’m sure they see that!
Kate Andrews says
This has been one of my biggest fears. I am so scared that as soon as I give birth it’s going to be all about the child and I won’t have any life or identity except for “so and so’s mom.” I know I want kids, but I want to be my own person too!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Kate,
Thank you for saying it. I think it too. I’m not a mom, but I wouldn’t want everything that I am, care about and work for reduced to mom. Not that being a mom isn’t great. There’s an episode about this on Atlanta.
tachira wiltshire says
At some point, I think all moms realise that they can ‘t do it all and we do need help. Having a good support system is definitely a major key to getting things done and success. I have struggled with mom guilt I think we all have. When you really think about it though there is no need to feel guilty about taking the time or doing things for yourself as when you are at your best everyone in the family will benefit.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Tachira,
I think we all realize that eventually, mom or not. We’ve got to compromise and you’re so right, we need a good support system.
Guilt is all too real, and you’re right they will benefit. It’s my experience that the best lesson a child can learn from their parent is to believe in themselves, and to pursue their dreams. Seeing you do it, inspires them to believe too.
Brittany says
#1 and 4 are so me! Guilt and trying to do it all. I am so bad about guilting myself about everything. And trying to be the “perfect” mom. But it’s good to give yourself a break. I have to remind myself of this daily.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Brittany,
Thanks for sharing. I think all dreamers struggling with feelings of guilt. Cheers to letting go of who we think we should be, and embracing who we are and doing the best we can. Perfect is over rated. <3
younglabs says
Hey Nice Article!
Loving your self is most important. After being mother most of the women forget about their dreams. Only dream left for them is the upbringing of their kids. Loving yourself is as important as loving your kids. To be a great parent we need to be motivated first only then we can give them better upbringing.
It's All You Boo says
Hi Younglabs! I so agree with you! You can only give so much of yourself.