Do you have to deal with negative people in your life?
Are you wondering how to set healthy boundaries towards them?
Negative people can be challenging to deal with. Their low vibes and sometimes even rude behavior can deeply affect the people around them. This may go to an extent where you choose to wave that person goodbye for good. Been there, done that!
However, sometimes it is impossible to avoid negative people 24/7. Perhaps you are working, dating, or even living with a negative person. Or that person may temporarily be going through some challenging situations, causing them to act out.
If that is the case, you may want to read further. It is possible to learn how to deal with a negative person instead of immediately shutting the door on them. Especially when you notice that their behavior is temporary due to specific circumstances, you may want to find a different way to deal with this situation.
The key to dealing with this type of person is to set healthy, loving boundaries. Easier said than done, right? Especially when you are a people pleaser and highly empathic, you may find this challenging.
Learning how to set these boundaries towards negative people is a process that requires time and patience. It begins with identifying whether you have a negative person in your life.
7 Common Signs Of A Negative Person
#1. The Energy In The Room Changes
Did you notice how the energy in the room changed for the worse when a specific person entered the room? Is there suddenly a tension in the air? Do people act differently after that person walks in?
Oftentimes, negative people carry a low vibration with them that influences the room. Similar to how people who carry a ‘good vibe’ change the atmosphere in the room for the better, negative people change it for the worse.
You may notice it within your body; you may breathe faster, feel stressed or nervous in the surroundings of that person. Also, you may feel anxious about what they are going to say or do next.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Deal with Social Anxiety
#2. They Can’t Seem To Be Happy For You
Another common trait negative people share is that they can’t seem to be happy on your behalf. When you tell them the good news, they either immediately share their own victories or they belittle or ignore your accomplishment.
When dealing with negative people, it is important to understand that they often are in a rather bad place. People who temporarily are behaving negatively often do so because of a traumatic event or situation in their lives. For instance, a divorce, financial worries, or depression can cause people to lash out and not fully be themselves.
What you are sensing on the outside of their energetic field, most likely feels ten times stronger within them. Therefore, try to not take their reaction towards your good news personally.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Stop Negative Self-Talk
#3. Their Problems Are All That Matters
Have you ever held a conversation with a negative person and only dealt with their problems? Did you ever leave a conversation realizing that all you did was talk about that person’s issues?
Oftentimes, this conversation dynamic slowly sneaks its way in without you noticing it at first. However, you gradually may realize that your energy decreases after each meeting with that specific person.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Protect Your Mental Health While Dating
If that happens more than once and you notice it as a pattern in your relationship, chances are likely that you are dealing with a negative person.
#4. They Make You Feel Insecure
Negative people oftentimes tend to make people around them feel insecure. They make mean remarks or criticize the choices, looks, and behaviors of others. These remarks are often filled with negative energy that you can sense from a mile away.
While you may not notice it immediately when it happens, these remarks may affect your self-esteem in the long run. Oftentimes, their criticism towards others makes you wonder whether they think the same about you.
What is important to realize, is that these remarks actually are a reflection of their own insecurities. For instance, when they comment on another person’s appearance, it oftentimes means they are deeply insecure about their own looks. This awareness helps you to detach yourself from their remarks and not take them personally.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Stop Being Jealous of Others
#5. Criticism Is Their Worst Enemy
While negative people are great at criticizing others, they often have a hard time dealing with criticism themselves. When they are being criticized, this confirms and triggers their deepest insecurities.
As a result, the negative person who is being criticized may react heavily towards the comments, either by fighting back or withdrawing from the situation without taking it out.
While the criticism from their surroundings is well-meant in order to help them, they may not see the intention behind it from their state of mind. Hence, it is wise to consider different approaches when trying to change a negative person for the better.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Be Yourself Around Others
#6. Complaining Is Their Second Nature
Another common characteristic negative people share is their need to complain. Oftentimes, a negative person can spend an entire evening complaining about everything that is wrong.
Whether it is the environment, people in the room or the food, the music, or the service. The negative person will definitely make remarks about it.
From a low vibrational state, it is incredibly challenging to see the beauty in life. After all, the negative person is convinced that everything and everyone seems to be wrong and nothing will change their mind.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Communication is Key in Relationships
#7. They Are Narrow-Minded
Finally, negative people often behave narrow-mindedly. They are not open to the perspectives of others and are convinced that their solution is the golden solution.
You will notice this characteristic during important discussions about society, values, and norms. Most likely, the negative person is very set on his or her views and will not change them (no matter what you tell them).
It is important for you to realize that this person currently is not in a state where he or she is able to listen actively. They will hear you, but won’t understand what you are saying.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 62 Best Relationship Advice Quotes for Him and Her
Practical Tips To Set Healthy Boundaries With Negative People
It may be challenging to know how to shut down a negative person. On the one hand, you feel compassion for them due to what they are going through. On the other hand, you don’t want to suffer from their negative energy either.
Therefore, when dealing with a negative person, it is crucial to learn to set healthy boundaries. Especially when you know that this behavior is temporary, it is wise to learn the following tricks.
#1. Identify The Behavior You Won’t Tolerate Anymore
First of all, consider grabbing your journal to write down what your boundaries are. You know that something about that person’s behavior is bothering you, but what exactly is it?
Is it that this person doesn’t listen to your stories and problems? Or perhaps makes mean remarks about others? Does this person gossip too often?
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship
Try to clarify what behavior you experience as challenging and write it down. This provides you with clear insights into what behaviors you won’t tolerate from that person anymore.
When you become aware of what’s bothering you, it is easier to point it out to the person when it’s happening. Also, this awareness helps you to shift your energy and mindset when his or her negative behavior reoccurs.
You will easily be able to apply some of the other methods mentioned in this article, once you are able to point out the negative person’s behavior.
#2. Practice Your Response
Secondly, you may want to practice your response to the negative behavior you dislike about the other person. For instance, if you know that the negative person makes mean comments about your looks frequently, make sure to know how to deal with it the next time this behavior occurs.
If you’d like to understand where they are coming from, you could reply by saying ‘What within you causes the urge to comment on my looks?‘. If you’d like to shut this behavior down immediately, you could say ‘Thank you for your remark, but I’m happy about my xxx the way it is.’
Something that is crucial while dealing with negative people, is to ‘close the door’ when you respond. This entails not leave room for discussion in your response. The longer your reply, the more room you leave for the person to disagree.
If that person asks you for a favor and you can’t help them, remember that ‘no’ is a full sentence. The more you explain your no and your boundary, the more opportunities the negative person receives to overstep your boundary.
Practicing your boundaries and responses before you meet a negative person, helps you to respect your own energy and reduce people-pleasing behaviors.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Don't Let Your Goals Ruin Your Relationship
#3. Protect Your Energy
Another powerful technique to deal with negative people is to learn how to protect your energy. When meeting with the negative person, make sure to try some of the following energy protection tips:
Visualize a bubble or dome around you – This technique is incredibly powerful. Envision a bright white light dome or light bubble around your body. Intentionally repeat that only love and positivity are allowed to enter that bubble and that negative energy will bounce right back to its sender.
Envision how their energy is being recycled – When talking to the person and noticing their negative energy entering your body, visualize how that energy is flowing through you right into the ground. Imagine how their energy is being recycled by Mother Earth, so it no longer can harm others – nor its sender.
Visualize how you return their energy to them – If you feel that they need their energy back in order to fully deal with their suffering, visualize how you return the energy to the negative person. You could envision a light cord connecting the two of you, through which you send their energy back. Also, you could visualize the return of energy by literally pulling the energy out of your body like weeds.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Be More Positive No Matter What
#4. Don’t Forget Tapping Into Compassion
In the end, it is wise to tap into your compassionate side while interacting with a negative person. Instead of going into defensive mode while being around them, try to show compassion for their suffering.
Especially if this is new behavior within somebody you know, this means that they may be struggling with something that happened recently. In order to help them, you may have to show them compassion and provide them with guidance.
Everybody – also negative people – are able to raise their vibration, but it is the job of people on higher frequencies to guide them in that direction. Imagine it like a light at the end of the tunnel. The negative person is walking in the dark tunnel and can’t see what they need. They only see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light is you and your energy.
Use your positive energy to help guide them to higher frequencies. You can help them by listening to their challenges for a little while, asking the right questions, or pointing them in the right direction. The opportunities are countless.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How To Be Less Introverted
Free Printable Positive Affirmations
Sign up below to get 20 Printable Positive Affirmations to help you stay positive no matter how negative someone is.
After all, all of us have walked or will walk in that ‘tunnel’ sooner and later in life. How nice is it to have someone helping us in the right direction?
However, if you notice that their behavior is affecting your overall happiness, setting boundaries doesn’t help and your love and compassion does not bring them further, it is okay to lovingly let go of the relationship.
That is also a boundary.How do you not let a negative person affect you? Click here for how to deal with a negative person and set healthy boundaries in a relationship for your own sanity and mental health. #PositiveVibesOnly #RelationshipAdvice
How do you deal with a negative person?
More About Guest Contributor
Anne-Kathrin is a writer and co-founder of the online brand HiSensitives. She uses her platform to help highly sensitive people and empaths live their best lives through personal growth. On her blog, she and other (highly sensitive and empathic) writers talk about topics such as career, health, spirituality, self-care, and relationships.
Last Updated on August 9, 2021
Get Your 20 Positive Affirmations
Subscribe to our VIP newsletter, plus get the free affirmations.