How do you make the right choice when you’re not sure?
Do you follow your gut or weigh the pros and cons?
Make a call on instincts alone?
Or is there a better method to the madness of choices?
What do you do when you have multiple interests? Like seriously, tell me what to do because I definitely do.
Choice A or Choice B, you decide?
I’m the absolute worst at making decisions. Looking at a menu takes me ages so now I just order what I got the last time as long as it wasn’t horrible.
Seriously, please don’t ask me what my favorite anything is. The only thing I’ve firmly decided on is fruit. Mangoes and lychee in case you were wondering and even there I have TWO favorites. But in my non-defense, there are still fruits I haven’t tried.
And that right there is my problem.
I’m especially horrible at making choices when the decision is between a few more or less similar options. Case and point, I love coffee and tea. I love them equally and drink way too much of both (like every single day).
So if I can’t decide between beverages, how can I make a decision about my career or future?
How can I decide between two paths that are both appealing to me? Two passions (maybe more.)
Making Life Defining Choices
Don’t even ask me how I’ve even managed to make relatively drastic, life altering decisions in the past.
Three biggies include:
- Going to university on the other side of the country where they didn’t even have the program I was interested in
- Going to live with complete strangers in Namibia, a country I knew no one, for a summer to do research for my MA
- Deciding a traditional 9-5 career was not for me even though I didn’t have a plan or a dollar to my name
Seriously, it’s a mystery to me. And maybe a miracle that each of these defining choices turned out pretty well.
But the more I think about it the more I realize that being able to make the “right” decision in the past was a combination of two factors: the pressure of having to make a quick decision + just making a gut decision.
Basically, the clock was counting down and I went with my gut.
The choice is usually simple when the other options “just don’t feel right,” or they’re “definitely NOT what you want.”
But, what do you do when neither choice screams “pick me, pick me”?
The Decision I Now Face
Like everything I write on this blog, it starts with something personal.
Right now I have a choice to make that would very much shape my future. I’m not entirely sure if the destination would be different, but the path surely would.
I need to decide what or rather how (or maybe both) I should establish my primary income stream.
If you’re familiar with my story, you know that I escaped the 9-5 to become a creative entrepreneur (the only title the really describes the melange of things I do). I made the choice to transition from employee to entrepreneur.
My goal was to be able to give myself the space I needed to explore my options decide in 2017 how I would stay free. And now I must decide.
Sure, I could have decided earlier, but I was still figuring myself out (and I still am, that never stops) and to be honest I’m a very “right in the nick of time” kind of decision maker. Without the pressure of needing to choose like right “now now” (as my African friends say), I would never decide.
Choice A: Continue building It’s All You Boo as the
you got this” motivational blog and build my 1-on-1 consulting business for other dreampreneurs (ohh, I like that title, I’m going to use that again somewhere) aka entrepreneurs in training.
Choice B: Build and establish myself as a branding and design expert and work for entrepreneurs and businesses, well and dreampreneurs too (see I used it again.).
Why You Need to Make A Choice
Maybe like me, you’re wondering why this is a choice at all.
“Hey girl, why can’t you just do both?”
Sometimes I question if I even really need to decide.
Maybe you also wonder why do you have to make a decision? Why can’t you just do both or all?
Maybe instead of different paths, you can take a two-lane highway?
But frankly friend, all two-lane highways usually started as a dirt road.
I need to build my dirt road first, before expanding.
I think there is definitely some truth to the belief that you really can’t do things at once, that multitasking is a lie.
I don’t think I can actually go any further and take serious ground for my dream lifestyle without deciding. I’ve resolved that I must pour myself into one, establish it and then revisit my other passions.
Here are ten ways to choose the right path. Ten ways I myself am using right now to do something that is really hard for me, making a choice.
10 Ways to Make the Right Choice
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Weigh Classic Pros & Cons
What are the pros and cons of each choice?
There’s a reason making pros and cons list are still a thing. It’s a great place to start when making a decision. Get it all down on paper and focus on the reasons why it’s the choice for you and why it isn’t. You can also think about this as a competition between benefits and best reasons vs. the liabilities and let downs for each. Most of the points you list here will likely be expanded on below.
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Pick the Path of Least Resistance
Are there any requirements or resources you need to follow a certain path?Do you need capital, knowledge, help, or any other necessities to succeed if you go this way? Is one option easier to achieve? Which option compliments your talents, superpower, and skills? Which option has the least resistance or the least amount of hurdles for you to jump over? It’s not about doing it because it’s “easier,” it’s about ultimately succeeding.
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Consider You Why(s)
Which choice connects to your most true (or your most valued) reason why?
You could do the five whys exercise which is basically you ask yourself why but you go five layers deep. Ask yourself why, then why to each answer 4 times.
A twist on five whys exercise is to think about your five types of whys to help determine the real reason why you would (or rather should) choose either option. The five being, your practical why (your need to survive), your selfish why (your wants and treats that you desire), your ego why (your need to feel successful and important), your compassionate why (your desire to help others or how it benefits another), and your funny why (your light and fun reason).
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Whichever Brings You Peace
Which brings your heart and mind peace and resolves a conflict?You could choose a path based on which one brings you peace or rather resolves a conflict. Which option is least aggravating or difficult? Would one over-complicate your life and lead you down a path of many restless nights and a lot of stress. Rather think about, which solves a problem or removes an obstacle from your way. You’re going to have to walk this path, so choose the one that is more peaceful, if you value your peace.
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The Right Choice
What’s the right choice anyway?
I’m not sure that in life there really is a wrong choice. Either way, you’ll never know what would have, could have, should have been. What is, is what was going to happen regardless.
What is, is what was going to happen regardless.
Making a choice and being confident in it is what makes it the right choice.
It’s only wrong if you doubt it.
It’s only wrong if you constantly question and regret your choice.
Even if you feel like you made a mistake, or took the wrong path, It’s not really the choice that’s the problem because you can’t change that. The problem is your perspective which leads you to regret.
No lesson learned is a mistake.
No wrong turn taken is a mistake.
You are where you are because you’re supposed to be here. Changing space-time is not in your toolkit or is it an ability that you possess.
And even if you could change your past, go back and choose differently or even somehow tell yourself the choices you shouldn’t make, that “new and right choice making you” wouldn’t actually be you.
That’s the thing about choices is that “good” or “bad” they make you who you are.
Love you, love where you are and own the choices that you make.
Whatever you decide, embrace it with confidence and don’t taint it with worries that it’s not the right path for you or the fear that you made the wrong choice.
I know that I won’t.
How do you know a choice is right?
Make the Right Choice!
These are great techniques for choosing! I have also read that we tend to be happy with our choices once we make them, so if in doubt just pick and go for it! I also listened to a great podcast from the hidden brain about what to do when you ate stuck that was also really useful.
I love that, I shall definitely check out that podcast. Thanks for sharing Kate.
I’m a big pro/con list maker! Great post! PS: I LOVE the name of your website! So cute!
Thanks boo! =)
I love these decision making tips. I tend to go with my gut 99% of the time.
Honestly me too! I do all the other out of due diligence, but at the end of the day, my gut knows.
I can definitely relate to this blog post. I’m a gut and does this bring me peace/joy kind of decision maker. I love your graphics and selfishly want you to continue the blog haha Good luck!
Thanks so much Jessica! I shall keep at it.
I really enjoyed reading your article. It offers a different perspective about certain choice.
Yay, I’m glad. Thanks for reading Jenniffer.
I sooo needed this! Like you, I have a decision I’ve been pushing off for quite a while and now I’m done to the last moments and I can’t decide. It’s definitely a moment of something life changing and I’m stuck. This really helped and a pro and con sheet is added to me todo list!
I love when you read the right thing at the right time. Make your choice Cadri! Making it is what makes it right.
I am the WORST at decision making. I feel like there are a few things that I want to pursue but time & energy are finite. But I love the idea about making a decision based on what brings you peace.
OMG me too! I hate decisions, I wish I could like outsource them to like some decision making department. Thanks for reading Rashida!
It’s always hard to make the right choice. I always find it really helpful to make a list and go with my gut, because I know that at some point I will get lost in that list. I’ll focus on the little details and I’ll lose sight of the big picture. So I try to go with my gut, I like to think the lists (pros and cons) are a way to help my gut decide. I always try not to overthink!
Hi Lia,
I am right there with you on the gut calls. My gut has total veto power.
Sometimes I’ll come to a decision and I’m about to take steps on that choice, and I’ll just feel like it’s not right.
Nope, *uturn*.
I love that we have intuition and that there’s this part of us that is just so much knowing that our conscious minds are.
I’m a huge pro-con list maker! I so needed this
Awesome Stephanie. So glad it was needed.
Happy choice making,
Nadalie
Great tips. It is so important for me that my decisions “connect with my whys”. I spent to long not doing that that it is my primary decision influence these days. If something doesn’t align with my values or vision, I do not do it. Great post, thanks for sharing your insights.
Hi John,
Yes, your why is a great way to decide. It’s not what we do, but why we do it.
There is a serious level of freedom that comes with making choices that matter to you. Keep going making those choices that matter to you.
Thanks for commenting,
Nadalie
I am so good at making choices! It does not stress me out. I usually pray about it, make a list and consult with people I trust.
Hey Anne,
I am SO JEALOUS of you. I’m the absolute worst. I can’t even decide on like movies.
Those are great ways to arrive at the right choice, thanks for sharing!
What a really great article! How do you know if your making the right choices is something you won’t know until you do. I agree you need to make a choice and be okay with the outcome.
Aww, thanks a bunch Maria!
It’s so true, it’s right when you make it. Maybe we overthink things too much?
Happy choice making,
Nadalie
DAWSON!! I miss that show lol
Emmy Coletti
lol best meme ever!
I like these techniques. I’m sharing and saving for future use. 🙂
Good luck in your decisions! You’re going to be great! This post confirms you’re smart and strategic.
Hi Teri,
Woot, happy to be saved and shared.
Thanks a bunch, I shall try my best. 🙂
Decision making can be such a pain… I usually go with a pro and contra list and then find the most rational solution. Sometimes it is so hard to do… totally understand you! X
Ugh, can’t it! *deep breath*
Rationality is the way to go, well unless your gut tells you otherwise.
Thanks so much for the solidarity Nadine!
WAW great post, I’m a pro and con and A&B person.
I plan to go with A and have backup plan B if I did choose wrong.
Hey Susan,
Me too. I don’t always write actually pros and cons lists, but I definitely run the options and different scenarios in my mind as I’m deciding.
Happy decision making,
Nadalie
Nice! Good read and really good advice provided
Thanks for the love Taylor!
Wow Great post Love it!!!!!
Glad you enjoyed it Laritza! <3
My opinion is to build a career as design expert and keeping in parallel the blog too. There are too many blogs out there already (and everyday are adding up) to rely only on a blog for your main income. My two cents.
Hey Perla,
Thank you for your two cents. *picks them up*
I shall take that into account. There are also loads of designers too, both markets are full of people. I know that eventually, I will do both, right now I’m just deciding which ship to launch first. Just following my heart, since I’m able.
Thanks for the advice,
Nadalie
Love your openness and honesty! We have similar professional tracks and we both moved cross country for college, so I can relate so much. This is not advice, but more of my opinion of what I read. I think it’s ok to do both for now until it is clearer what you should be putting more of your time, attention, and energy to. Wow, you are awesome, beautiful, and love your blog!
Thanks so much Inda, for your kind words and encouragement. <3
For sure, I guess even I am not entirely convinced that I have to decide and I haven't fully either. I still do design work every week, I just haven't put any time really into launching m brand with a website and all that as yet. I feel like one "infant" website at a time is all I can handle.
Best of success to you!
OH MY GOSH. I am horrible at making decisions. Ever since I was a kid it would takes me AGES to decide on anything – including ordering off a menu. It’s a family joke now.
I really hear ya on this topic especially when it comes to building a dirt road before launching into a full blown highway. I struggle with putting my energy into blogging or advancing my knowledge/training as a health practitioner. Suggestions?
Looking at you and your work I would say that the root of your “problem” is that you have so many talents. You have a talent for visual design and graphics AND an unmistakeable talent for verbalizing and finding solutions to the problems many of us face every day.
I like tips 4 & 10 and think you can’t go wrong following those!
-Rebecca
PS: Mango and lychee are hands down the best fruits. BOTH of them.
Yay, I’m NOT the only one who is really bad at this.
I just try and avoid making decisions altogether.
Ohh, that’s a big question. I’d say go where your heart is. Either will be work and dedication and I think it’s easier when you’re already in it. Or build on what you’ve already started. Remember, either way it’s the right choice!
Aww, thanks! It’s such an odd position to be in a spot between two talents that I enjoy, but for me, I had to make a heart choice on this one. In this season, this is where my heart is so I’m focusing my energy here. Hopefully, I can still do the designing stuff and I’ve been doing okay there without all the hoopla of a website and promoting myself.
Time will tell! I do hope that I’m able to eventually bring it all together and talk about my other loves here.
Thanks for sharing,
Nadalie
ps. heck yes! I had some fresh mangoes earlier – off season but not bad.
Love this post! So in depth yet easy to understand, thanks so much for sharing 🙂
findyourownhope.blogspot.com
You’re very welcome Susie! Thanks for popping by!
Wow! A great post. Loved reading it. Read a lot of good tips. Thank you
Thanks for the blog love Adarsh! So happy you enjoyed it!
My motto is if you’re not happy with something, change it! We all have to make some tough decisions in some point in our life and I always say follow your gut. If it feels right go for it, if not don’t do it. Thanks for the article.
I LOVE that, Elena! You’d be surprised how many of us sit and linger in unhappiness without taking steps to change things. I admire that about you. And I soooo agree, your gut is always right.
Wow – pretty interesting post – As an intuitive, I’ve learned, that if it’s really serious hand it over to God –
When I was young, I didn’t have the confidence in myself to let God take care of things His way. So I now know – but still am impulsive on the little things!
Hey Donna,
It’s wonderful that you have such patience. As much as I do believe that God is able to work things out for me, I’m just careful I don’t use it as an out for not taking responsibility and making movements on my own behalf. Then again I’m super impulse once I’ve made up my mind about something.
I like to also consult with friends and family who know me well and who I trust. Thinking about the different possibilities can be overwhelming and you can lose yourself in your own thoughts sometimes.
Hey Ant,
That’s a great choice (hehe), your friends and family do know you best and usually have solid advice. Unless in the rare cases it goes against what they think is best, then that’s an interesting conversation. *runs for the door*
Thanks for sharing!
Decision-making is the hardest thing to learn and do. It is because it’s not pure science. Sure you rely on research and information to make an informed decision, but you also need to trust your gut. We make tough decisions everyday—but this is what makes us responsible adults!
Mae | http://www.thegospelofbeauty.org
Hey Mae,
It is one of the hardest life learned skills for sure. I find the more choices I make the more I am comfortable relying on my instincts and gut to guide me. Yay for adulting!
I love your blog. The way you layout posts, color theme, etc. ! Great job xx
Jill
http://www.jilldap.com
Awww, meri Jill! Your blog love is MUCH appreciated.
Life is full of choices! Sometimes its hard to make a right decision but we learn from our mistakes!
Isn’t that the truth! What to eat, what to wear, what to do with your life! And I’m the WORST at deciding.
I love that Dawson’s Creek meme! At the end of the day, the way to make good choices is to ask-how will i feel about this choice tomorrow, next week, 5 years from now. If you can stand by it then it is likely a good choice.
OMG yes isn’t it the best! I thought it summed up my post perfectly.
That’s an amazing point! It’s a great choice when you can live with it day in and day out.
Nadalie,
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for creating this blog. I feel like everything you said is SO ME (just more eloquently put). While I love my job that lets me work with college students as a mentor and I also get to travel and design periodically, there is so much excess that stresses me out! Through reading your insights and following more inspiring women (Maria Forleo is my hero), I am starting to clear my head about what I really want to do with my life! Thanks again!
You are SO very welcome Kristin!
Your comment seriously made my day and week! *hand to heart*
Girl I sooo feel you. It’s really rough to be at a job that sprinkles in a bit of what you love doing, but it buried in a lot of things you find uninspiring. Like every time you do a bit of what you love you think “hmm I could keep doing this.” It’s a tough spot, but I’m sure you’ll find your way! Best of luck lovely,
Nadalie