Ready to recover and motivate yourself after a breakup? Want to know how to improve yourself after a breakup?
Breakups are hard, and if you’re reading this you probably have gone through a breakup recently. When you’re in a relationship, at some point you realize that the person you’re with right now is either temporary or forever. Unfortunately, not every relationship goes all the way. Things can fall apart, people can change and your once healthy and strong relationship can be done.
Breakups can be very unexpected, leaving you feeling blindsided, shocked, confused, or even embarrassed. We have all been there and eventually, you will go back to feeling like yourself. There are not many positive benefits to a breakup, but a breakup can give you the opportunity to improve yourself.
This can be a period of time to find yourself, learn to love yourself, take a look at how your relationship impacted you, and discover what you desire in a future partnership. By reflecting on what you liked and did not like about your last relationship, you will be able to build your confidence back up after it was knocked down.
Heightened emotions can be caused by breakups. Your judgment can be clouded and sometimes people do things after a breakup that they definitely should have avoided. If you just got out of a long-term or short-term relationship, there are things you should and shouldn’t do after a breakup.
Keep reading to discover how you can improve yourself after a breakup, what you should avoid doing after your breakup, and how you can recover from your long-term relationship ending. Give yourself some grace, be kind to yourself and take some of our advice into consideration, happy reading!
Things to Do After a Breakup
Your relationship just ended, so now what? Well, that’s a great question. There are so many things you can do to improve after a breakup, so let’s dive in.
#1. Grieve Your Relationship
It’s okay to feel heartbroken. To put it into perspective, the person who you loved the most, probably spent the most time with, and became your best friend, is no longer there. For those reasons alone, you have every right to grieve your relationship. Let your emotions out, be sad, cry and give yourself the time to remember the relationship.
Usually, after a breakup, you can either feel very numb or flooded with emotions. Whichever the case, you need to grieve the loss of your relationship. Your partner was a constant in your life and now they’re not. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, angry, and sad again.
Allow yourself to go through the cycle of emotions, and listen to that breakup playlist your best friend sent you. Give yourself the time to grieve so you can start your journey of improving yourself after your breakup. Allow yourself to go through the healing process.
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#2. Protect Yourself
You’ve grieved your relationship, so what’s next? It’s time to protect yourself. Purge your social media accounts. Delete the apps off your phone for a while. Getting rid of your ex on social media can prevent you from seeing things that might upset you. For example, seeing your ex move on quicker than you expected can really hurt, so get ahead of yourself and delete them.
And while you’re deleting apps, delete your ex’s contact information. Not only do you want to delete your ex’s contact but also any family members of theirs that you might have on your phone. This might be hard at first, but if you want to improve yourself after a breakup you need to let go of all the connections you have to your ex.
This will also prevent you from reaching out in times of weakness or responding to your ex if they reach out to you. Setting these boundaries allows you to be in control of any communication with your ex.
You may be thinking, is this really necessary, or do I have to do this? That’s up to you, but it might be in your best interest to really consider this tip. Protect your heart and yourself from falling back into the grieving stage when you’re trying to move on and improve yourself.
#3. Give Yourself Some Love
Going through a breakup can be taxing and make you feel run down. After everything this breakup has put you through, you deserve to give yourself some self-love. If you are in need of some ways to feel better about yourself, let yourself indulge in some shopping, and buy yourself something nice.
If you love to read, head to your favorite book store and grab a few new books. If working out is your passion and you love to get in daily movement, try on some workout clothes. Buy a new pair of leggings that make you look great and feel great. These little acts of treating yourself and retail therapy are also great way to spend time alone.
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If your mental health is struggling after your breakup now is the time to start getting back on track. Take this time to journal and write out all the emotions you are feeling. You don’t always have to write about your breakup, instead, write down anything that comes to mind.
Empty your mind by putting your emotions, concerns, and thoughts on paper. This can be a great way to release any stress or anxiety you are feeling. If your feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression start to worsen, you should seek professional mental health help. Consider booking an online therapy session to discuss some strategies you can implement to better your mental well-being.
A mental health professional will be able to help you with your breakup by letting you have someone to talk to and listen to all of your feelings. They can also help you reflect on what you learned in your relationship, and how you can rediscover yourself during this time.
This is the perfect example of self-love and is a great way to improve yourself after a breakup.
#4. Stay Motivated
An easy way to fall back into the slump of your breakup is by isolating yourself and not being motivated to do things. By keeping yourself busy you can easily distract yourself from your recent breakup and start to enjoy other things without thinking about your recent split.
Try to stay busy as much as you can without overworking yourself. Make a to-do list of things that need to be done around the house, run a few errands, or make plans to hang out with a few friends.
Try spending quality time with family and enjoy your time visiting. Surrounding yourself with a good support system and people that love you will make going through this breakup a lot easier.
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Things NOT To Do After A Breakup
Now that we’ve laid out the things you need to do after a breakup, here are some things that you should not do after your breakup.
#1. Don’t Contact Your Ex
You purged your social media and deleted their number for a reason. Do not reach out to them when you’re going through the breakup. This can make things more complicated and confusing. You are in a vulnerable state and contacting your ex may open the door to getting back together.
But is that what you really want? It’s best not to open up that can of worms at this moment. Take time to heal and improve yourself after the breakup before contacting your ex again.
If you must contact your ex only do so when it is necessary. For example, if you and your ex lived together and your belongings are still in their place, it’s okay to keep the lines of communication open. After all your belongings are collected and things are settled, cut off communication and do not contact your ex until you feel ready.
#2. Don’t Degrade Yourself
It can be very easy for you to knit-pick your characteristics and the things you do and start degrading yourself. The reasons for your breakup may get in your head and really impact how you perceive yourself.
If your confidence is knocked, try different things to build it back up. No one should make you feel less than or insecure.
Self-deprecating can cause you to go down a rabbit hole of negative self-talk or even depression. It’s important to remind yourself that you are good enough. What a person says about you or their opinion of you does not matter, so don’t take what others say to heart. Be confident in who you are as a person, don’t let your breakup change that.
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#3. Don’t Give Up on Love
Right now the last thing you might want to think about is being in a relationship again or falling in love. I don’t blame you, but don’t keep thinking like this forever. Don’t let one bad breakup ruin your thoughts on love or scare you away from exploring it ever again. Give yourself time to heal and move on so you can find love again. Love is out there and you should give yourself a fair shot at finding it again.
This being said, don’t rush into dating. It can be tempting to hop on a dating app and find some matches, but is that what you really want? If you’re not fully ready to move on from your ex, jumping into the dating world right after your breakup is probably not the best idea. Get closure, find happiness and discover what you truly want in a partner before dating again.
Once you’re ready, try out different ways to start gating again realm. Try a blind date, a dating app, or ask a friend to set you up with someone they think would be a great match for you. Have fun dating and don’t settle. The next person you have a date night with after your breakup might not be the forever one. Keep looking to find what you do and don’t like and eventually, you will find your perfect match.
#4. Don’t Neglect Taking Care of Yourself
You may have heard of the classic post-breakup haircut. While a change is great to make after a breakup, impulsively cutting your hair or changing your looks is not ideal. There are many reasons why you might feel the need to make impulsive decisions relating to your appearance.
For example, you feel a change will make you more attractive to your ex or new dating prospects. Most of the time, these post-breakup haircuts can turn out to be a disaster, especially if you do them yourself.
A fresh haircut can definitely make you feel more confident and attractive, but doing it because of your breakup or to get the attention of others is not why you should do it. Get the haircut because you want to change, for a fresh start, and to boost your confidence. Check out some of the trendiest haircuts right now!
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Not only should you avoid a bad haircut, but also make sure to avoid damaging your body by excessively drinking alcohol or doing drugs. Relying on or using alcohol and drugs to cope with your breakup is a destructive habit. This bad habit can lead to bigger health problems and will not cure your breakup blues. Another destructive habit you shouldn’t fall into is not eating enough or overeating.
Emotions can impact how you treat your body. If you’re sad and down in the dumps about your breakup, the last thing on your mind is probably what you’re going to have for lunch. Your mind is preoccupied with thinking all things about your breakup. Although it can be difficult, it’s important to keep up with your regular eating habits.
How You Can Recover After a Long-Term Relationship
It’s never easy to cope with a long-term relationship ending. After years of being together, your whole world has suddenly changed. Here are some tips for recovering from a long-term relationship breakup.
#1. Distance Yourself
In order to protect your heart and properly heal after the breakup, it’s important to keep some distance from your ex. This may be difficult in some situations. For example, if you and your partner lived together it may take some time until your ex is fully moved out.
Remember that if communication is necessary between you two, be respectful and mature. Only communicate when needed. Don’t make this harder for either of you by fighting or crossing boundaries.
Once your ex is fully moved out or you have moved into your own new place, take this time to revamp your space. Start by boxing up any memorabilia you have from your relationship, it’s time to put it away for now. Separate any items that were your partners. Create a space that has YOU written all over it.
Decorate the way that you feel best reflects your personality or design style. Although you can create a beautiful new space it’s important not to isolate yourself. Take the opportunity to do things you find joy in.
Find new hobbies that you and your partner didn’t do together. Accept the invitation to hang out with your family or friends when they call. You can still enjoy your space and time with others even after your breakup.
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Start taking yourself on dates, and give yourself some extra self-love. Just because you don’t have a partner doesn’t mean you have to stop treating yourself to fun dates. Take yourself out to lunch or go paint some pottery. Improving how you treat yourself will change your mindset and make you a better person after your breakup.
#2. Reflect on Your Relationship
Your mind may be going in circles, still not understanding why your relationship ended. But in order to start getting some closure, you need to reflect on your relationship. Think about how your partner treated you, and vice versa, how you communicated with each other, and if your morals aligned.
Did you miss any red flags? It can be easy not to notice red flags or things in your last relationship that were unhealthy when you’re comfortable and in love with your partner. That’s why it’s important to take the time now to reflect. Reflecting will help you realize that maybe the breakup isn’t so bad.
By taking a deep dive into your previous relationship you can now determine what you would like your future partner to be like. You can set standards for behavior, communication, and more. This is also a great opportunity for you to take into consideration the things you need to work on in order to be a better partner. In time you will be ready to move on and find new love.
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#3. Put Yourself Out There Again
It can be hard to believe that love still exists in the world after going through a tough breakup, but it does. Once you’re ready to move on and have full closure from your breakup, try dating again. Feel free to hop on some dating apps. It’s okay to go on dates to see what kind of people are out there. Be picky and stick to your standards. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want.
On the other side of things, you might still be thinking about your ex. You could still have feelings and want to reconnect, or maybe try getting back together. Only you and your ex can decide if that’s a good idea.
Don’t rush into things, instead take time to heal and grow individually. Once you do this you and your partner can grow as a couple. Be sure to have open communication about your breakup and how you would like your relationship to be different this time around. You and your partner should be on the same page in this situation.
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Everyone has probably experienced going through a hard breakup. To say the least, they aren’t easy but you will bounce back. You will come out the other side a better person after putting in the work to improve yourself after your breakup. Love is out there for you and you will find it.
Don’t forget you broke up for a reason. A breakup study finds that major reasons include your partner’s personality, feeling lonely in the relationship, and a lack of trust.
Even if being single again feels lonely or scary, remember you’re already on the path to healing. Keep going and rediscover yourself!How long does it take to get over a long-term relationship breakup? Need help getting over a breakup? Click here for how to improve yourself after a breakup. #RelationshipAdvice #Single #NewBeginnings #BreakUp #Relationship
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Last Updated on September 23, 2022
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