Want to know how to become a more confident person?
Looking to build confidence and self-esteem?
It feels amazing to be confident in yourself. Could you imagine being able to generate that fresh blow out, nails done, new outfit kind of confidence on demand?
Funny how simple things like making a hair appointment or just waking up on the right side of the bed can have an immense effect on how we feel about ourselves.
However, the good news is that exuding confidence actually isn’t as complicated as we tend to think.
The Root Rot that Causes Insecurity
Walking around with low self-confidence is like driving a car without budget auto insurance or a proper oil change. The heightened insecurity finds a way to slowly creep into every part of your life until there are a complete mind and body breakdown, the same way your car does if you don’t take care of it properly.
Why so many things can make us feel inadequate is no mystery when images of manufactured beauty and uniformed success are forced upon us at every corner.
Even the most secure of us have our triggers that make the ugly insecurity gremlins set up a home on our shoulders, and that’s normal. Everyone feels insecure sometimes, and most of us probably consider our thoughts of insecurity as internalized personality defects.
But making peace between you and your insecurity gremlin begins with accepting that you can’t be confident all of the time.
The first step to finding your confidence is seeing how you normally feel at your best and identifying where the roots of your insecurities begin. Typically what makes us feel insecure are things we’ve either struggled with within early adolescence or things we’ve been told are negative traits about ourselves.
Before applying any outside advice to try to change your mind or your life, you need to get past your comfort zone and confront the things that intimidate you the most and make you feel the most anxious or ugly.
How Do You Become a More Confident Person?
Now that you’ve probably made yourself nice and uncomfortable thinking of childhood trauma, straighten up and take control of your mental state. Exuding a sense of confidence doesn’t just happen. Becoming a healthy, confident person takes a conscious effort and daily practice.
Try to envision your level of confidence as a plant that you take care of. In order for that plant to flourish, you need to water it. If or when you don’t, that plant will die. Think of this metaphor or even create another that better fits you, and keep it in mind by making the journey of adding to your level of confidence an ongoing game.
You are unique, so not every tip will work for you, but let’s start with a few basics to help you change your frame of mind with a few general self-confidence tips.
#1. Start Exercising
When I think of having to run, it’s as if awake-sleep paralysis has suddenly taken over my body. But the fact remains that exercising is so important to becoming more confident. So as much as I hate to hear this advice, I have to say it. Exercising releases endorphins that keep not only your body healthy but also your mind.
We all know it, but what we often don’t hear in the pro-fitness speech is the most important thing — finding what works for you. If you’re not a gym lover, you shouldn’t go just because that’s what works for your neighbor.
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In these unprecedented times, at-home fitness has become more accessible than ever, and if you’re like me, you’ll be surprised at how fun quarantine fitness can be. Explore your city by biking or walking parks; find a hobby that requires movement or being outdoors, and you’ll find that your self-confidence naturally increases simply by doing a type of exercise that you enjoy.
#2. Learn Something Old
Whether you’re still in school or not, there’s that one lesson or topic you probably have always felt bad at. Maybe the problem was that you just didn’t really put much effort into learning.
Go back to that subject and take the time to actually learn it this time. Often, things we think we’re bad at are typically things we gave up on too soon before giving ourselves a chance to master it.
Make this project as big or as small as you think you need. No matter what it is you decide to master, erasing past insecurity will help you move forward to take more challenges head-on.
Many insecurities originate with our schooling experience, and even as adults, we need to prove to ourselves that we are capable of learning new things. Finding our confidence in school-like settings helps improve our self-esteem and builds confidence in both social and professional environments.
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#3. Give Yourself a Promotion
Not feeling successful enough is a huge contributor to insecurity and can seriously hinder any positive self-confidence you have, which is why capitalism isn’t designed to cater to those the most well-intentioned or kind-hearted.
If your parents haven’t told you, just know that these words, “You are enough and you can be proud of where you are” are for you.
What are you passionate about? Is that what you’re currently doing? How can you incorporate more passion into your work? Take a minute to identify where there’s room to grow within your current position and city.
It’s okay to be on a temporary stepping stone, and yes, goals give us purpose but appreciating how far you’ve come also fuels professional growth and confidence.
Analyze what you think your work environment is lacking, and take the initiative to contribute more of whatever you see could use improvement. You should enjoy and take pride in whatever you do, even if your current position is a planned temporary one.
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Though there are endless positive possibilities that come from this kind of change, if improving your self-confidence is your goal, make the changes with only impressing yourself as your goal. Set intentions for your own self-impression, and staying accountable to that will make anyone else’s acknowledgment a bonus.
But first being able to recognize your own self-improvement can boost your level of professional confidence to give you the security you need to keep moving forward.
How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem Each Day
Learning how to be a confident woman isn’t necessarily as easy as just picking up a fashion magazine at a gas station. There is an endless amount of pressure placed on how women should look, act, eat, wear, love, be loved, and even sleep.
Sheesh, with all these daily pressures, it’s a miracle we haven’t all gone insane and blamed it on our periods!
But here are some calming facts to keep in mind when you feel like the world’s expectations are going to make your head explode:
- You are a woman no matter how many stereotypical boxes you check.
- As long as you like what you’re wearing, you’re dressed fine.
- You deserve to be loved and desired no matter your size, face shape, or current mental or physical health.
- Anything you choose to do is womanly if you do it as a woman.
Self-confidence for women is often turned to how well we serve others, which more and more women today are realizing is an outdated perspective. Self-confidence is more than your sex appeal or how feminine you can be, so allow yourself to look past the commercialized or old-fashioned version of confident, feminine energy.
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#4. Make Time Daily to Relax
To build your level of confidence, sometimes you just need to lower your shoulders from your neck. We, women, are expected to juggle so much that our own self-care can get easily lost in the shuffle of responsibilities.
Even on your most hectic days, taking just 10 minutes to meditate or enjoy a cup of coffee without feeling obligated to move or answer the phone before starting your day will have a positive effect on the overall course of each day.
Stilling your mind can be done in more ways than one. It’s not so much about how many ways you know but about actually making the effort to be still. Being still in your own company is a healthy way to gain inner peace.
Exuding confidence begins and ends with how you feel and see yourself, thus learning how to enjoy your own company and master the route of your consciousness are vital instruments in building and maintaining self-confidence.
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#5. Look at Yourself as Beautiful
You can’t be confident if you’re constantly criticizing the cover of your book before opening it. All the cliches in the world won’t matter if you don’t believe in your own beauty.
Caring about what you look like is normal and healthy. Take the stigmas out of your head and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If you weren’t conditioned to value certain features, would you see yours as undesirable? Say out loud what makes you unique, and smile after each thing you list.
In addition, if you like research, look at what other cultures and time periods besides your own deem as beautiful. Understanding where our current ideals of beauty come from is a logical approach to self-acceptance that often goes overlooked.
Researching different facets and types of beauty can help you find your own style and inspire you in ways that may not be found in the immediate influence you regularly experience.
How to Be More Bold and Confident
Time to take these practices past just the thought. Hopefully, through your building confidence journey, you’ve been able to include those who care for you and bring them along for the ride. When insecurity gremlins latch hold of us, they tend to isolate us from anyone who would loosen their grip.
Journeys of self-love are anything but lonely because once you fall in love with yourself, you begin to want others to share it with. Be that annoying person who’s always talking about how they plan to better themselves, and you’ll be surprised how many loved ones will flock to support you. Some things are simple, and support is often one of those things that seem complicated to navigate. But in reality, all you need to do is ask for it.
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Asking for what we need from others is a bold move and shouldn’t be taken lightly. It takes courage and confidence to say what it is you need from those around you.
One reason that asking for what you want is scary is that the answers may not always be what we want to hear. However, even in the spirit of having to compromise or renavigate our approach means that the power of your voice was used.
#6. To Love is to Be Confident
Have you noticed that those who have the hardest time getting along with others and maintaining relationships are people who are deeply unhappy with themselves? That’s no coincidence.
Being vulnerable in relationships with friends, family, and lovers is the ultimate form of self-confidence.
To love and to allow yourself to receive love is the ultimate test of your self-esteem. Maintaining relationships takes work, and no relationship will go well when we’re constantly allowing our insecurities to take the driver’s seat.
Finding those with whom we can be our authentic selves around is vital to our personal growth and overall happiness. We don’t always get along with others, but a perfect relationship with anyone isn’t about agreeing all the time about everything.
Set boundaries to weed out anyone that isn’t willing to treat you the way you need to be treated and use your confidence to guide who feels good to be around. Building confidence attracts the energy and spirits of those who will make positive contributions to how you see yourself on both the inside and out.
So love bravely, and accept those that love you too.
#7. Embrace Yourself and Be Confident
Growing your self-confidence is more than just pretending to stand tall. Being confident in yourself is about strengthening the overall posture that holds you.
Use these tips as a guide to make daily changes as well as be the tools that you can always refer to in times of heightened anxiety or depression. Take a deep breath because confidence is a balancing act that is hard for everyone.
You won’t always get things right and bad hair days happen, but mistakes and missed hair appointments don’t define your worth. Take things day by day and even at the end of a bad one know that you can only do better tomorrow.
Get Your Self-Confidence Quotes
Ready to become a more confident person today? Get your 10 FREE printable self-confidence quotes!
They’re perfect for your office, home bedroom, or wherever you need to find inspiration daily. Each design is black and white and features brushed ink letter detailing.
This download comes with 10 high-resolution graphics ready to be printed and posted.
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More About Guest Contributor
Danielle Beck-Hunter writes and researches for the auto insurance comparison site, 4AutoInsuranceQuote.com. Danielle is an insecurities expert that finds success in conquering anxiety and depression with spiritual and scientific practices. Being an advocate for healthy living, Danielle urges every reader to think deeper about the causes of their negative emotions and finding healthy outlets to release them.
Last Updated on January 8, 2021