Looking for a date yourself ideas for Valentine’s Day?
February is the month of love. Tons of rom-coms are hitting the theaters, Hallmark cards are flying off the shelves, and stores are decked with pink frills and heart-shaped chocolates.
But a holiday dedicated to romantic love can leave many feeling lonely.
Do you see Valentine’s Day as Single’s Awareness Day? Does this time of year make you feel alone?
It’s understandable. After all, our culture likes to promote romantic love above all other kinds of love.
Every movie you watch, regardless of genre, has a love interest in it. How many movies feature a strong independent person who isn’t interested in a romantic partner? Maybe, like, two?
Let’s make one thing clear, you don’t need to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend in order to enjoy Valentine’s Day. Or any day for that matter!
Instead of looking for a romantic partner to love, let’s work on loving ourselves.
This Valentine’s Day, learn how to date yourself. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s time to give yourself a little t-l-c.
Keep reading to uncover what it means to date yourself, learn how to fall in love with yourself, understand why time alone is good for you, and get inspired by thirty fun solo date ideas.
What Does Dating Yourself Mean?
Dating yourself means treating yourself like you would a romantic partner. It involves love, care, and a little bit of spoiling from time to time. To date yourself, you’ve got to be considerate of your own needs and desires. It’s about prioritizing yourself and your wellbeing.
Actress Emma Watson recently popularized the term “self-partnered” when defending her single-status in an interview with British Vogue.
“It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered,” Watson said.
According to experts, self-partnered people focus on being happy independently. Although many continue to date, they prioritize time spent on self-care and personal development.
Common Concerns about Dating Yourself
“Do I have to be single in order to date myself?”
No way! Your partner must understand that you want moments to yourself from time to time. Dating yourself, regardless of your relationship status, gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Be Comfortable with Yourself
“I’m broke, I don’t have money to spend on myself.”
That’s completely fine! Don’t let consumerism fool you, dating yourself doesn’t have to cost a dime. Self-care can be cheap or free. Just make sure to choose solo activities you enjoy that don’t break the bank. Meditation, journaling, and going on walks are just a few easy ways to date yourself any day (keep reading to find thirty awesome, inexpensive solo date ideas).
“I don’t like being alone.”
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, spending time by yourself is important for self-reflection and personal growth.
It’s okay if solo dates are a little uncomfortable for you at first. Over time, you’ll learn to enjoy dating yourself and you’ll find how to date yourself in a way that’s best for you.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Happy Being Single Quotes
How to Date Yourself When You Don’t Love Yourself
The idea of dating yourself can be daunting when you don’t feel like you completely love yourself.
Self-love and self-acceptance is an ongoing journey. It’s not as easy as saying “okay go love yourself.”
But in order to love yourself, you’ve got to take time getting to know the real you and doing the things that will make you happy.
If you don’t feel like the relationship you have with yourself is a loving one, here are a few steps to help you fall in love yourself and learn to embrace your solo status.
Step #1: Consider What’s Keeping You From Loving Yourself
First, we have to be aware of the influences that hinder our ability to love ourselves for who we are, such as:
- Seeking validation from romantic partners and friends
- Focusing on negative self-talk and self-doubt
- Handing the megaphone to our inner-critic
- Believing we need to be in a relationship all the time
When do you feel like you don’t completely love yourself?
When have you treated yourself as a toxic ex instead of as a loving partner?
Take some time to consider these questions and offer yourself alternative ways to cope.
For example: Instead of believing that I’m a failure, I’m going to remind myself of all that I’ve accomplished and everything I’ve overcome.
It may take some time to learn to un-hate yourself, but after a while, you’ll get more comfortable with the person you are and you’ll learn to be your own best friend.
Step #2. Make a List of What You Want to Add to Your Life
Next, you need to consider what you want to add to your relationship with yourself.
- Do you want more time to reflect on your personal goals?
- Do you want to experience new things or go to places you haven’t been to before?
- Do you want to feel pampered?
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Pamper Yourself At Home
Taking time to reflect on what would bring you more joy is an important part of building a loving relationship with yourself.
Understanding what you want is the best way to learn how to date yourself right.
Step #3. Schedule the Time to Date Yourself Regularly
Finally, make time in your schedule.
You wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t make an effort to spend time with you, right?
If you want to date yourself and fully love yourself independently, you’ve got to prioritize the time you spend on your own.
Of course, we aren’t suggesting that you abandon your responsibilities in exchange for self-care.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Schedule Mommy Alone Time
But if you consciously consider the available time you have in your schedule and you make sure that some of those moments are spent doing your own thing, you’re going to improve the relationship you’re building with yourself.
There are many ways you can practice self-care for just a few minutes every day. A ten-minute meditation, a short walk in the park, or a daily journal session can be the perfect little date you need with yourself from time to time.
You could also plan a particular day (such as Valentine’s Day) to have a whole afternoon or evening to yourself. This will give you something to look forward to during the week and will allow you to plan something you’re really going to love.
Solo Date Yourself Ideas For Valentine’s Day (or Any Day)
Want to date yourself but don’t know what to do? Here are some easy, often-inexpensive ideas on how to date yourself this Valentine’s Day (or any other day of the year).
- Go to the movies on your own
- Visit an art museum
- Attend a yoga class
- Read in the park
- Get lunch at a restaurant you haven’t been to before
- Write a love letter to yourself
- Buy yourself some flowers
- Play tourist in your own town
- Make a blanket fort
- Face mask and bubble bath
- Try a new recipe
- Go to a bookstore, choose a book at random and read the first chapter
- Read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie from when you were a kid
- Go on a walk
- Journal about your dream life
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Embrace Being Single on Valentine's Day
- Sit by the lake/pond
- Meditate
- Pretend to be a photographer, exploring new cities and parks to take photos
- Go window shopping, try on clothes you wouldn’t normally wear
- Dance around to a fun, upbeat playlist (90’s hits, anyone?)
- Visit an animal shelter
- Take an art class
- Reorganize your room
- Play on a swingset
- Bake cookies for your neighbor
- Make a gratitude list
- Create a vision board
- Buy yourself a gift and wrap it- open it at a later date
- Create a “bad-day” emergency kit for yourself filled with snacks and things you like
- Wear your comfiest clothes and watch your favorite movie in bed.
How to Date Yourself Without Getting Lonely
People who are naturally extroverted may not be used to spending long periods of time on their own. For many, the idea of spending a whole evening on a date by yourself is a little daunting.
Here are a few things to remember if you feel uncomfortable with the idea of dating yourself or going on solo dates.
#1. This is an opportunity to do anything you like
When you’re in a relationship with another person, you sometimes have to compromise on date nights and choose activities the other person would rather do.
When you date yourself, date night is entirely up to you.
Whether there’s a cheesy chick-flick you’ve been wanting to see or a pop song you’re guilty of grooving to, your date with yourself is your chance to do exactly what you want to do.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 29 Single on Valentine's Day Quotes
#2. You can learn more about yourself
When you spend more time on your own, you have the opportunity to reflect on your personal needs and your growth.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable about being alone, this is your chance to lean into that and reflect on why you’re craving companionship.
Alone time can help you become more in tune with how you feel.
Plus it can show you what you are in need of in your life.
Dating yourself gives you the chance to get to know yourself on a deeper level. A chance to connect without being influenced by outside parties.
#3. Get outside your comfort zone and build confidence
Dating yourself allows you the chance to do things outside your comfort zone and experience things you’ve never done before. Take our solo date ideas list, for example, many of those options involved trying something new and different.
The more you do things that feel uncomfortable to you, the more courage you build.
Why Should You Date Yourself?
Still not convinced that you should date yourself this Valentine’s Day?
Consider what your life would be like if you…
- Truly loved yourself
- Embraced your relationship status, whether it’s self-partnered or in a relationship
- Learned more about who you are and what you want in your life
- Regularly did things that were new, fun, different, exciting
- Prioritized self-care
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Have a Staycation
Think about how much happier you could be and how much you’ll grow as your own person.
Now is the time to put yourself first.
Printable Self-Love Quotes
Looking for a bit of encouragement to love and date yourself? Get your 10 FREE printable self-love quotes, that are the perfect reminder that you deserve date night with yourself.
This download comes with high-resolution, graphic quotes that are ready to print and post in your home or office.
Whether you are single as a Pringle or dating someone great, it’s important to learn how to date yourself.
Even if you aren’t in love with yourself yet, take the time to treat yourself better.
You’ll see why solo time is valuable and why the best dates you ever go on may be the dates you go on with yourself.
As the iconic designer, Diane von Furstenberg said, “the most important relationship in your life is with yourself. Because no matter what happens you will always be yourself.”
Are you single and feeling lonely? Click here for how to date yourself, including 30 date yourself ideas for self-love. This is how you fall in love with yourself. #MeTime #DateNight #LoveYourself #SelfCare
How will you date yourself this Valentine’s?
More About Guest Contributor
Laura Maloney is the Founder of The Self Set, a blog focused on sharing inspiring advice on self-care, self-love, and self-improvement. Laura’s passionate about promoting authenticity online and encouraging others to share their struggles along with their successes. With guided journals and a podcast in the works, Laura is excited to continue to help people like you create the life you want by focusing within your “self.”
Last Updated on August 11, 2021
Heather says
I haven’t been on a date since I had kids (almost 15 years ago). I would love to take myself out for a day of fun!
Laura says
Heather, you should totally spend some time for yourself. You deserve it!
It's All You Boo says
Hey Heather,
You are such a supermom! You definitely need to take some time off and date yourself. You deserve it.
Amber Myers says
I love this! Honestly, I prefer to be alone, so I date myself often 😉 I love going to stores alone and such. One day I’ll start traveling alone.
Laura - The Self Set says
Yes! Shopping alone is great sometimes. Hope you get a chance to solo travel.
Glad you like the article too 🙂
It's All You Boo says
Hey Amber,
I’m so glad you love them! Doing things alone can be so much fun. Some people just like dating themselves rather than be with other people and there’s nothing wrong with that. Best of luck on your solo travel!
Cassie says
This is such a cool post and very inspirational! I love the quotes you added too. 🙂
Laura says
Thank you Cassie!
It's All You Boo says
Hey Cassie,
I’m so glad you love them! Doing things alone can be fun and liberating. Stay inspired and thanks for reading.
Shayla says
This is such a neat post, you made so many good points. When I was single I spent all my time working!
Laura says
Thank you! I hope you had some chances to spend some quality alone time here and there.
It's All You Boo says
Hey Shayla,
I’m so glad you liked it. It’s very important for us to date ourselves once in a while to reconnect and show ourselves some love and appreciation. Thanks for reading.
Katlyn Brown says
Loved this! I personally set time away for just myself every Sunday to reset my goals, plan the week and just catch my breath 🙂
Laura says
Yes I love that! Good idea!
It's All You Boo says
Hey Katlyn,
That’s a great way to date yourself. Thanks for sharing!
Brittany Limberakis says
I love this! I’ve been working on doing more things on my own and it is so liberating
Laura says
Yes spending time alone is the best sometimes, isn’t it? 🙂
It's All You Boo says
Hey Brittany,
I know right? Doing things alone can be very liberating. Thanks for reading.
Jenny says
I love the quote you always include in your posts, including in this one. And yes, you don’t have to be single to do any of these things. They are all forms of self-care and SO important. Thanks for reminding us all to take time out for ourselves, single or not 🙂
It's All You Boo says
Hey Jenny,
I’m so glad you love them. Doing things alone is never bad, sometimes we just need to love and take care of ourselves for our sanity. Thanks for reading.
Laura - The Self Set says
Thanks! Self-care isn’t selfish. Love that!
Windy says
This Valentine’s Day I plan on taking myself to the movies to see The Photograph with Issa Rae. It’s important to love ourselves because at the end of the day you spend more time alone than with anyone else.
It's All You Boo says
Hey Windy,
That’s a great movie. Agreed, self-love is very important for us to keep with day-to-day struggles of life. Hope you have a great date with yourself!
Laura - The Self Set says
I love that! Hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s Day!
Michal says
I really loved this post! I’v been single for four years now (which is the longest I’ve been single since I was 16) and I’ve also started a Single Life blog. It took me time, but I overcame the fear and grew to love myself and my own company. I think that dating yourself is a huge factor in that. You really have to take the time to care and pamper yourself. Learn how to spend time in your own company, and not only not go crazy, but actually love it as well! You’re ideas were great and I’ll definitively try out the ones I haven’t done yet! thanks so much!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Michal,
Congrats on the blog, so happy for you.
Lindsey Harrison says
Some really great ideas here and I love the quotes you’ve included. I love my alone time!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Lindsey,
You and be both. Alone time is great!
Mimi says
I love these ideas, I’ve always wanted to go to a restaurant alone but I’m scared of feeling weird, I want to conquer this fear
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Mimi,
Haha, you and me both! I always want to watch movies alone too, but I feel so strange doing it.
Bella says
These are such great ideas!! so good to date yourself very important!!!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Bella,
It really is! We’ve got to make time for those self-care, solo-dates!
Jen @ JENRON DESIGNS says
I like the idea of being in touch with my soul this says it all.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Jen,
Right? Such a beautiful way to spend time with yourself.
Tish says
I need to do this. I’m a single mom and I don’t have a lot of free time, but I need that me time and this is perfect!
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Tish,
Happy to hear it’s inspiring you to find little ways in your busy day to date yourself.
Emman Damian says
Great ideas! I feel like even if you’re in a relationship, you can still do this honestly. Do you agree?
It's All You Boo says
Hey Emman,
I agree with you on that. These how to date yourself tips can definitely help even when you’re in a relationship.
Mimi says
I love these ideas! I definitely need to work on dating myself, I’m fun XD
It's All You Boo says
That’s the spirit, Mimi! We can definitely be happy dating ourselves!
Amber Myers says
I love being alone so I am all about dating myself. You have fabulous ideas here.
It's All You Boo says
Happy love these ideas on how to date yourself, Amber! Thanks!
Sol says
Oh, I love this post ! We need to take some time to have a date with our own self.
It's All You Boo says
We can always work on loving ourselves first! Thanks Sol!
laura says
great idea you shared. I love to be alone, and it is the best to date yourself.
It's All You Boo says
Schedule those dates on regular basis! Thanks Laura!
Monica Simpson says
I love the quote about not being lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. Self love is important!
It's All You Boo says
We have to invest in ourselves first and be the person we can be. Thanks Monica!
Jen @ JENRON DESIGNS says
THey say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else properly. So I imagine dating yourself is probably a good idea.
It's All You Boo says
Yes, how you treat and love yourself is really important!
Tisha says
I definitely need to date myself more often.
It's All You Boo says
As simple as going to the bookstore is already a date!
Elisa says
Oh wow, I really enjoyed this article dating ourselves. It puts so many things into perspective about ourselves
Melissa Cushing says
Being single and loving time spent with yourself is so important and a great wya to find ones self too. Loving this post and appreciate your sharing!
It's All You Boo says
I’m so happy you love this how to date yourself post, Melissa!