How do you make the right choice when you’re not sure?
Do you follow your gut or weigh the pros and cons?
Make a call on instincts alone?
Or is there a better method to the madness of choices?
What do you do when you have multiple interests? Like seriously, tell me what to do because I definitely do.
Choice A or Choice B, you decide?
I’m the absolute worst at making decisions. Looking at a menu takes me ages so now I just order what I got the last time as long as it wasn’t horrible.
Seriously, please don’t ask me what my favorite anything is. The only thing I’ve firmly decided on is fruit. Mangoes and lychee in case you were wondering and even there I have TWO favorites. But in my non-defense, there are still fruits I haven’t tried.
And that right there is my problem.
I’m especially horrible at making choices when the decision is between a few more or less similar options. Case and point, I love coffee and tea. I love them equally and drink way too much of both (like every single day).
So if I can’t decide between beverages, how can I make a decision about my career or future?
How can I decide between two paths that are both appealing to me? Two passions (maybe more.)
Making Life Defining Choices
Don’t even ask me how I’ve even managed to make relatively drastic, life altering decisions in the past.
Three biggies include:
- Going to university on the other side of the country where they didn’t even have the program I was interested in
- Going to live with complete strangers in Namibia, a country I knew no one, for a summer to do research for my MA
- Deciding a traditional 9-5 career was not for me even though I didn’t have a plan or a dollar to my name
Seriously, it’s a mystery to me. And maybe a miracle that each of these defining choices turned out pretty well.
But the more I think about it the more I realize that being able to make the “right” decision in the past was a combination of two factors: the pressure of having to make a quick decision + just making a gut decision.
Basically, the clock was counting down and I went with my gut.
The choice is usually simple when the other options “just don’t feel right,” or they’re “definitely NOT what you want.”
But, what do you do when neither choice screams “pick me, pick me”?
The Decision I Now Face
Like everything I write on this blog, it starts with something personal.
Right now I have a choice to make that would very much shape my future. I’m not entirely sure if the destination would be different, but the path surely would.
I need to decide what or rather how (or maybe both) I should establish my primary income stream.
If you’re familiar with my story, you know that I escaped the 9-5 to become a creative entrepreneur (the only title the really describes the melange of things I do). I made the choice to transition from employee to entrepreneur.
My goal was to be able to give myself the space I needed to explore my options decide in 2017 how I would stay free. And now I must decide.
Sure, I could have decided earlier, but I was still figuring myself out (and I still am, that never stops) and to be honest I’m a very “right in the nick of time” kind of decision maker. Without the pressure of needing to choose like right “now now” (as my African friends say), I would never decide.
Choice A: Continue building It’s All You Boo as the
you got this” motivational blog and build my 1-on-1 consulting business for other dreampreneurs (ohh, I like that title, I’m going to use that again somewhere) aka entrepreneurs in training.
Choice B: Build and establish myself as a branding and design expert and work for entrepreneurs and businesses, well and dreampreneurs too (see I used it again.).
Why You Need to Make A Choice
Maybe like me, you’re wondering why this is a choice at all.
“Hey girl, why can’t you just do both?”
Sometimes I question if I even really need to decide.
Maybe you also wonder why do you have to make a decision? Why can’t you just do both or all?
Maybe instead of different paths, you can take a two-lane highway?
But frankly friend, all two-lane highways usually started as a dirt road.
I need to build my dirt road first, before expanding.
I think there is definitely some truth to the belief that you really can’t do things at once, that multitasking is a lie.
I don’t think I can actually go any further and take serious ground for my dream lifestyle without deciding. I’ve resolved that I must pour myself into one, establish it and then revisit my other passions.
Here are ten ways to choose the right path. Ten ways I myself am using right now to do something that is really hard for me, making a choice.
10 Ways to Make the Right Choice
Weigh Classic Pros & Cons
What are the pros and cons of each choice?
There’s a reason making pros and cons list are still a thing. It’s a great place to start when making a decision. Get it all down on paper and focus on the reasons why it’s the choice for you and why it isn’t. You can also think about this as a competition between benefits and best reasons vs. the liabilities and let downs for each. Most of the points you list here will likely be expanded on below.
Pick the Path of Least Resistance
Are there any requirements or resources you need to follow a certain path?
Do you need capital, knowledge, help, or any other necessities to succeed if you go this way? Is one option easier to achieve? Which option compliments your talents, superpower, and skills? Which option has the least resistance or the least amount of hurdles for you to jump over? It’s not about doing it because it’s “easier,” it’s about ultimately succeeding.
Consider You Why(s)
Which choice connects to your most true (or your most valued) reason why?
You could do the five whys exercise which is basically you ask yourself why but you go five layers deep. Ask yourself why, then why to each answer 4 times.
A twist on five whys exercise is to think about your five types of whys to help determine the real reason why you would (or rather should) choose either option. The five being, your practical why (your need to survive), your selfish why (your wants and treats that you desire), your ego why (your need to feel successful and important), your compassionate why (your desire to help others or how it benefits another), and your funny why (your light and fun reason).
Whichever Brings You Peace
Which brings your heart and mind peace and resolves a conflict?
You could choose a path based on which one brings you peace or rather resolves a conflict. Which option is least aggravating or difficult? Would one over-complicate your life and lead you down a path of many restless nights and a lot of stress. Rather think about, which solves a problem or removes an obstacle from your way. You’re going to have to walk this path, so choose the one that is more peaceful, if you value your peace.
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The Right Choice
What’s the right choice anyway?
I’m not sure that in life there really is a wrong choice. Either way, you’ll never know what would have, could have, should have been. What is, is what was going to happen regardless.
What is, is what was going to happen regardless.
Making a choice and being confident in it is what makes it the right choice.
It’s only wrong if you doubt it.
It’s only wrong if you constantly question and regret your choice.
Even if you feel like you made a mistake, or took the wrong path, It’s not really the choice that’s the problem because you can’t change that. The problem is your perspective which leads you to regret.
No lesson learned is a mistake.
No wrong turn taken is a mistake.
You are where you are because you’re supposed to be here. Changing space-time is not in your toolkit or is it an ability that you possess.
And even if you could change your past, go back and choose differently or even somehow tell yourself the choices you shouldn’t make, that “new and right choice making you” wouldn’t actually be you.
That’s the thing about choices is that “good” or “bad” they make you who you are.
Love you, love where you are and own the choices that you make.
Whatever you decide, embrace it with confidence and don’t taint it with worries that it’s not the right path for you or the fear that you made the wrong choice.
I know that I won’t.
How do you know a choice is right?
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