What are the best ways to deal with being overwhelmed with life?
So – you have a goal. But when you finally have some free time, that goal can start to feel like the last thing you want to work on.
You’d rather hang out with your friends, or watch Netflix and relax than do the actions necessary to make your goal come true.
But then your goal just sits there, untouched and still an unrealized dream… and that doesn’t feel so hot either.
Blergghhhhhh…
Sound familiar?
Well, here how to deal with feeling overwhelmed and motivate yourself to achieve your goals, even when it feels like too much work.
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Ask Yourself, “Why Do I Want This Goal?”
Usually, people want to achieve things related to actions that they enjoy doing. If you love to play music, you might want to be a musician – makes sense right?
And enjoying what you are doing is going to help you stick with your goals longer.
So ask yourself, “Why do I want this?”
👉🏽 RELATED POST: Why You Need to Be Setting Intentions, Instead of Goals
Go even a step further and recognize WHY you prefer other activities over the actions that will support your goal. List the reasons why your “guilty activity” steals your attention every night.
For me, watching Netflix is a way to veg out and stop thinking for a little while, and I enjoy spending time watching TV with my husband.
Think of ways that you can transfer those same feelings to your goal activity instead.
Silent Motivation Killers: Denial & Overwhelm
Maybe it’s not that it’s too much work… or maybe it’s actually something else that’s keeping you from pursuing your dream.
Maybe you are just feeling overwhelmed or scared you might fail?
To tell you the truth, you would be doing it wrong if these feelings didn’t pop up from time to time!
Overwhelming feelings like to hide by masking their identity in the form of excuses.
How do they do this?
Comfortable activities start to sound super appealing. That new season of your favorite show seems to call out your name, drawing you in and away from the actions that are going to make your dreams come true.
So how can you battle overwhelm?
👉🏽 RELATED POST: 8 Motivation Killers You Need to Know About
Overcome Overwhelm with Lazy Actions
Break your goal down into basic actions. Break it down until the action is something you’ve done many times before. An action that is just as easy as watching your favorite show on Netflix.
I like to call them Lazy Actions! Because you know you are doing it right if the actions are something you would do even if you were feeling lazy!
Plus, think about it – isn’t feeling lazy just doing what you want to do, despite feeling like you should be doing something more productive or “better” instead? Who said so!? It’s your life! So let’s transform and embrace the lazy mindset!
For example, say that your goal is to find your purpose (a goal that we all want, right?) It’s also a goal that might feel overwhelming when viewed all at once. Break it down until you reach your Lazy Actions. What do you need to do to find your purpose?
- You can’t find something without looking for it, so maybe you start by creating a list of all the things you love to do. [Lazy Action = Create a list]
- Or you could talk to people who have found their purpose and learn from their stories, so you can brainstorm ways it can apply to your own life. [Lazy Action = Write an email, text someone, or make a phone call]
- You could create an atmosphere of wellbeing right now so that you are open and willing for future inspiration to strike. [Lazy Action = Relax! That’s pretty lazy, right!?
These are all examples, there could be a million more, and only you will know what is right for you.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Stop Being Lazy
Achieve Any Overwhelming Goal with Lazy Goals
But how do we make these actions and this goal feel even less overwhelming? We break down each of these things even further. You’ve created a list before, right? You’ve written an email before and you’ve made a phone call? These are actions you’ve done before, actions that you are good at doing.
Here are some more potential examples:
Goal: To be more productive
- Think of someone who is productive that you admire, and ask them for advice (make a phone call, text, email, etc…)
- Schedule meetings with yourself to get things done
- Read articles about productivity for pointers
Goal: Clean out my closet
- Create a list of the items you want to donate
- Do a Google or Pinterest search on strategies for cleaning out your closet
- Buy hangers or other organizational tools (Can you say, Container Store trip!)
Or here is a goal that I had recently…
Goal: Double my email subscribers for the Soultiply blog
- Signed up for a free course
- Make an online quiz that converts to wow my readers
- Played on Canva for 15 minutes to create the opt-in
The ideas are endless!
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Reach Your Goals by Taking Action – Even Lazy Ones
Remember – achieving a goal is just a string of actions that add up over time. But just like you can add up episodes during a TV binge, you are going to add up actions over time anyways – whether they are productive actions or not. Why not have those actions add up to something that you want long-term?
Focus on those small, Lazy Actions rather than the full, big picture of your goal or the emotions associated with it. Those thoughts, THEY are the silent killer. When you think about how extra money will change your life, or how your dream will change the way that people think about you… That’s when the goal starts to feel scary – when you start to focus your emotional energy on what it could mean for your future.
If you feel disorganized, there are plenty of project management software and apps that can help you track these actions. Some of my favorites are Asana, DaPulse, Todoist – the list goes on and on.
Add up those actions, one by one, and you will be on your way to achieving whatever goal you set your sights on. Netflix is great, but it can’t do that for you!
Do You Really Want to Achieve This Goal?
Do you know what dreams/goals/passion/purpose all have in common?
Undeniable feelings of power and desire. And these feelings are almost impossible to describe unless you’ve felt them before.
You can’t make them up and you can’t force yourself to want to achieve a goal just because someone else told you to do so.
When you find something that fuels the feelings of power and desire in you – you will JUST KNOW. It’s like when my mother told me that “I would just know” when I met the man I should marry. I dated a decent amount of semi-decent guys. And I thought, “Could this be him? How will I know?!” But she assured me that when I met “the one” – it would be undeniable.
And she was right!
I knew my (now husband) was “the one” long before we started dating. His code name was “Husband” with me and my friends! (Good thing it worked out, or else that might be a little creepy…)
This is the same way it should feel with your goals. You have to KNOW, in the deepest part of your heart, that this is what you want to do with your life.
👉🏽 RELATED POST: How to Take Action When You Can't Get Started
Be Honest About How You Feel About Your Goal
If you don’t feel this way, could someone else be trying to influence your goals? (like a parent or significant other?) Or maybe you’ve tried to convince yourself that you want this goal, even if that isn’t the deepest truth? You might think you can only make money by living a responsible life and you are afraid that your goal will not give you that stability.
Dreams can call BS.
Just know that anything can happen with the right amount of action. But there’s something more that must fuel action – and that’s motivation.
And motivation feeds our desire. Don’t have the desire? You won’t have the motivation, which means you most likely will not have action. And without action, you will not have your dream.
No One is Forcing You To Do Anything
And maybe right now isn’t the right time for your dream.
You have to be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up for taking a night off from work to catch up with your girlfriends might actually help you in the long run.
It’s all about finding the balance between present pleasures and future joys.
Imagine each day of your life (assuming you live well into your old age) as a dollar. Do you want to spend your dollars on little treats that you mildly enjoy, or do you want to save them up for something more expensive that you will love in the future?
Most likely, it will be a balance of both.
And if you do choose a present pleasure over a future joy – make sure that it was worth your time and energy!
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Whenever I get stuck on a project or goal, I know the only way to get back on track is if I take some time off. I go and watch TV, or I give some attention to another project. But then, I always come back to it, refreshed and with a new perspective.
So take this time now, with your friends, doing the activities you want to do, but keep your goal simmering in the back of your mind.
And go back to it when it’s time. That’s how you beat overwhelm?
Are you stressed and burned out? Struggling to get motivated? Click here to quickly beat overwhelm with lazy goals. #Goals #GoalSetting #Overwhelm
How do you quickly beat overwhelm when it’s too much?
More About Guest Contributor
Brittany Hoopes is the founder of Soultiply, a site where driven millennials can learn how to translate their dreams into actionable to-dos. She conducts qualitative research on topics surrounding goal setting, motivation, productivity, and inspiration.
Last Updated on November 3, 2024
Tasheena @ SimplyTasheena.com says
Great post! I love the idea of making the task fun by going shopping and sprucing up the space.
Nadalie Bardo says
Agreed – Brittany has such a great ideas for making lazy fun and actually productive. I’m loving lazy goals this winter.
Brittany Hoopes says
Thanks! Yeah, who doesn’t love an excuse to shop….especially if it helps you get those goals done and crossed off the list! <3
Censie Sawyer says
Great post. I am a big paper planner user. It has all of my goals for the week and I check them off when I achieve them. It keeps me motivated and on task.
Brittany Hoopes says
So glad you liked the post! I go back and forth using paper planners…but I LOVE that feeling of checking something off a list. Best of luck to you with your 2018 goals!
Nadalie Bardo says
I always have like planner envy, and end up buying them and not really using them. What works now is printing from my Slay Your Goals Planner, using my big whiteboard to plan the week and a tiny piece of paper with to-dos for the daily. I need to see it like everywhere!
Cecilia says
I like the general questions there. Sometimes, it’s so easy to not do anything at all than to actually complete your goal. Thank you for sharing.
Brittany Hoopes says
I hear ya! It’s a good reminder that even just a little progress is better than sitting on the couch and watching the world pass you by. Thanks for reading!
Shell says
This post is such a great motivator for getting my goals together. Thanks so much for posting these awesome tips to help kick me into gear!!
Brittany Hoopes says
Of course! Thanks for reading Shell – best of luck to you with your 2018 goals!
Crystal Marie says
Great post to help people overcome being discouraged and get inspired. Thanks!
Brittany Hoopes says
Thanks Crystal! It’s so much harder when you feel discouraged – I hope this post reminds everyone how to stay inspired and create the life that they want to live for 2018!
lisalisa says
This is great! I know I really need to implement these tips myself, I did purchase a planner and I wrote down some of my goals inside. Now I just need to get the motivation to achieve just one a day. Thanks for the reminder, I love this post!
Brittany Hoopes says
So glad to year it Lisa! Even just one a day adds up after a long time! Think about it – that’s 365 a year! Life would be drastically different with that much action. Best of luck to you in 2018, let me know how it goes for you!
Rose says
One of my goals this year is to follow through. I’m tired of starting and stopping tasks. I am writing things down and carrying it over until it’s complete. I’m also asking for help which ensures it gets done.
Brittany Hoopes says
That’s a great goal Rose! I totally hear you on that one – I was always great at starting tasks, but finishing them was a different story. For me, I found that making promises to myself (ie: I promise to workout 3x per week) and then setting consequences (If I don’t work out 3x a week, I don’t get to watch TV over the weekend) really helped me stay accountable. I know it might seem harsh, but it was the only thing that actually got me to stick with my goals. It’s a tip from my favorite goal setting book. “Maybe It’s You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.” by Lauren Handell Zander. I highly recommend it!
Nadalie Bardo says
The follow through, it’s really what gets us all. I’m going to do my best to write and create content that focuses on what it takes to really take action. Haha, I love the title of that book, I really need to check it out. But real talks, I suspect it does come down to stop lying to ourselves that its no time, no whatever, and just get it done!
Brittany Hoopes says
Haha the book title is intense, but MAN it’s such a good one. I’ve been doing the program outlined in it for 12weeks now and it’s so amazing what can happen when you makes promises with yourself that you intend to keep.
Nadalie Bardo says
OHh really. That sounds like a very action-packed program. I may have to check it out. Although, full disclosure, I can’t read self-helpy/motivational books. I try… I can never get through them. Trying to read you are a badass right now, and then the mind wanders… #readingfail
Livi says
These are great ways to look at why I want these goals. One of the things you mentioned was the closet. My closet is just A MESS but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m going to make a list of things to donate and start from there!
Brittany Hoopes says
That’s a great goal Livi! One thing that I’ve done to help with closet clutter is that I keep a garbage bag in the closet for donation pieces. Every time I try something on that no longer fits, or isn’t the style I like to wear any more, I throw it in the bag. Once the bag is full, I take it to my donation center! It’s essentially like cleaning out your closet without you even realizing it, since it slowly fills up over time! Good luck to you with your closet goals!
Winter White says
What a great post filled with amazing concepts! I love the idea of lazy actions. I also find that asking myself my intention is a great way to stay motivated and beat overwhelm. For instance if I want to lose weight, I ask myself the why, and for from there. So if it’s to look and feel good, why do I want to look and feel good? Because it makes me more productive and makes me feel better about myself. Why do I want to feel better about myself? Because it makes me happier and I know how it feels to not feel good about myself, which is somewhere I never want to return to. Asking myself the why is so very helpful! Thank you for this, I will pin for later!
Brittany Hoopes says
SO glad to hear it Winter! You are absolutely right – intentions are the foundation for anything. I feel like sometimes (why we don’t want to do something, or we procrastinate) is because it’s ultimately not aligned with our intentions. Or, at the very least, our intentions can remind us why all the hard work is worth it. Great strategy!
Meryland says
Great post! Definitely, we have sometimes to push ourselves to accomplish these goals that we know we need to, especially at the beginning of a new year we usually put ourselves into the “new year resolution” mode and it can be super overwhelming. Take it one day at a time and prioritize is important.
Brittany Hoopes says
For sure Meryland! Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, and then we just end up feeling bad about ourselves. Which is no fun! I think the Lazy Actions piece is to remind yourself that you can ease into it. Doing 1 thing is better than NOT doing 100 things at all.
Emman Damian says
I usually have a long list of goals. I place them in a paper and slowly mark them as done once I’m finish. That way, I don’t forget.
Brittany Hoopes says
That’s a great strategy! I bet it feels good to see all the little check marks!
Kristen from The Road to Domestication says
What a great post! I’m not scared of hard work at all…I just always feel like there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs my hard work!!!
Brittany Hoopes says
I hear ya Kristen! Have you tried “color blocking” your calendar. For example, I take 3 main goals of mine each week (for me, it’s career, body and health) and I figure out the actions that I need to take that week towards that goal. Then I ask myself – REALISTICALLY – How much time will these actions take? I assign a color to each goal, and then block it off (I use Google Calendars, but you could do this with a paper planner too) in my calendar. If Action A takes 2 hours total, I find the time and schedule it. It’s super helpful to keep you realistic (so you don’t bite off more than you can chew!) and to stay focused and productive. Plus, all the free space is free time you can use to relax and know that you’ve accomplished all that you set out to do that week!
Nadalie Bardo says
Brittany, I love how you break down your goals by area of focus in your life. I should investigate this more, maybe we can talk about it sometime (podcast!). For myself, I focus solely on one area but I am realizing that my body is suffering from my intense career focus. I tell myself, at least you’re eating healthy.
Brittany Hoopes says
Yeah I totally get that. I spent some time focusing on one goal at a time, but I found that I wanted too many other things to “wait” until I finished the first goal, you know? So now structuring the time to do multiple at a time is allowing me to make progress in multiple areas. And, if I’m ever stuck in one area, I can “take a breather” and focus more on another area – and I seem to find inspiration that way by not forcing it, you know?
Nadalie Bardo says
Yeah, totally know what you mean, that’s me! I am so intensely focused on the blog/biz/career (make my own career) goals that I don’t really care about the rest. But, I’m okay with that. This is the most pressing one, and it really needs to take off VERY SOON or I’m going to have to make changes I very much would rather never have to make. I try to think of the other areas that might be suffering and the only super obvious one is probably my lack of a relationship. Perpetually single, and it just feels like a part-time job putting yourself out there. So I’m resolved that what will be will be. Super thankful that I have the body of an athlete even without exercising (yay for allergies so can’t eat anything that bad for me anyway) and friends/family who are forgiving of my hustle and get what I’m working to achieve.
Trying to think what else there is, like other parts of my life I could be neglecting?
I do believe though that the beautiful part about focusing on the blog/biz is that it stretches beyond career/job goals into finances, relationships (as we build networks and form friendships with other bloggers), communal (there is a huge community and as I build my own tribe), and educational (I know I’m learning something new every day).
I digress, OKAY *breathes*, so yeah it’s just my physical body that is suffering majorly from my lack of exercise. I feel the pain as I sit here… I was feeling really bad yesterday and decided to stretch in the morning but ended up pulling my shoulder… soo now I’m back to my sedentary ways. Going to try and take yoga breaks daily.
Evelyn says
Thanks for this post! It is delightful and a great way to remind myself to go for it! <3
Brittany Hoopes says
Absolutely Evelyn! Go for it!! Even small actions can add up to something huge <3
Elizabeth O says
What a great post. Keep on going and reached your goals. Such a great list and it motivated me to keep going.
Brittany Hoopes says
So glad to hear it Elizabeth!
Hillary says
I love this post! I had never thought of having a lazy goal before. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. That mindset can be fraining, so I am going to create a list on todoist called lazy goals that I can do when all I want to do is crawl in bed and read trashy books and stuff myself with junk foods.
Nadalie Bardo says
Hey Hillary,
Right! I felt the same way when Brittany shared this post with me. Although right now as I reply I’m having such a lazy day, and there are thing that I can get done when I just feel like relaxing all day.
Brittany Hoopes says
That’s a great idea Hillary! Good to have the list on hand, just incase.