Do you feel like you have no motivation for anything?
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Do you often go through cycles of feeling motivated and unmotivated?
Let’s face it. It happens to all of us.
You start off psyched ready to get out there and shine. But, suddenly that excitement dissipates, leaving you drained and uncreative.
The next thing you realize you no longer feel like putting effort into that relationship, continuing to search indeed.com for that dream career, starting that business, saving for the family car or paying off that college loan (ugh).
What happened? You don’t know what or where it went wrong. But, one thing is for sure…. You want your mojo back!
Are you able to pinpoint what factors inhibit your motivation but increase procrastination?
Motivation is basically the desire to get things done. It’s the difference between those who wake up tackling the day while others lay around waiting for this to happen.
There are several motivation killers that can easily make you unmotivated. And there are simple tasks to help you…
- Get back on track,
- Stay motivated,
- Set and achieve goals,
- Beat procrastination,
- Gain self-control,
- Designing your own destiny!
How to Identify the Motivation Killer and Fix It
Motivation Killer #1: Envy Of Others
People don’t realize how much energy they lose worrying about the person beside, in front of or behind them.
“The feeling of wanting to have what someone else has”
Envy and jealousy of others are what many people have but no one wants to admit to it. No one ever wants to say they feel resentment when their coworker gets a raise before them. It’s when the other woman conceives a baby while you have been desperately trying. The friend that successfully started their own business. It must be luck you say.
My track coach used to always say before the 4 by 2 race started, “Stay in your lane and don’t look back”. He said that because while you’re running you can use energy looking around at the runners beside you and going into someone else lane can disqualify you.
So why is that not applied in everyday life? Why do we continue to look to see what others are doing? Or worse try to be like someone.
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HOW TO FIX IT: Be real with how you feel and try to change the thought. You need to disregard what others are doing, not doing or achieving. True motivation comes from overcoming your limitations and surpassing YOUR goals so you can have the best life. You should not be in competition with anyone but yourself. Focus on you. Easier said than done, right? Just work on it!
Motivation Killer #2: Don’t Have the Right Support
“Give approval, comfort or encouragement to”
There sometimes can be the right or wrong kind of people who support your dreams. You ever tell someone something in hopes they will be happy for you but instead, it turns negative?
Or saying you can’t lose weight as fast.
Unfortunately, the insecurities and the suggestions of others can just shoot down your happy dreams.
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You want to connect with the right people that have similar aspirations. There are Facebook groups for just about anything (business, weight loss, painters, farmers). Basically, you need to find like-minded people or an accountability partner who will support, understand, believe and push you towards your dreams.
HOW TO FIX IT: Eliminate the people that will suck the motivation out of you. It may be hard but necessary. And please — be careful who you share information with because everyone can’t handle YOUR goals. Don’t let criticism from others stop you from fighting for your dreams.
Motivation Killer #3: Not Making S.M.A.R.T. Goals
Goal setting is more than just throwing out an idea and hope that you attain it. Goals should be made SMART.
SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC, TIME BASED
You can easily lose motivation if the goal is unrealistic. Be mindful of setting your goals too high without giving yourself an adequate amount of time.
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For example, you set a goal to run a 10K. Your goal is to complete the run within 1 hour. Sounds doable right? But what if the race is next weekend and you have 8 days to go from couch potato to athlete.
You can lose the drive and possibly burn out in 3 days. Not because it’s impossible, but because you didn’t set a specific, measurable, attainable, realistic goal within a good time frame. You need to set yourself up to win!
HOW TO FIX IT: When setting goals to be sure to include small goals and reward yourself. If you are a beginner or have trouble reaching goals then I highly recommend you start setting SMART goals.
Motivation Killer #4: Lack of a Clear Purpose
Another big motivation killer is your WHY behind the task.
- What is the reason behind the goal?
- Why should you accomplish it?
It’s the story or end result that helps you stay on track.
The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists:
You absolutely must have a strong WHY! Not having clear intent will easily cause you to fall off task.
The bigger the WHY the stronger the motivation.
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You ever heard or seen someone do something nearly impossible, but the end goal is so big that the impossible is made possible. There tons of news stories covering mothers, fathers, and children doing the unthinkable to protect a loved one.
I remember the story about the mom the lifted a car off her baby. Her WHY was tremendous? She knew the baby life depended on her ability to do it alone. Talk about a true motivator.
Although, the majority of us will not have a Why that big, establish one ASAP.
HOW TO FIX IT: Check past goals or tasks that you failed to reach and identify the why behind it. That may help you decipher if you WHY was strong enough. In addition, always make sure your goals are aligned with YOUR purpose.
Motivation Killer #5: Mindset
Your mindset is how you see life. How you deal with difficulties. How you show appreciation for things in your life and overcome obstacles or roadblocks.
Having a positive mindset allows you to navigate through life without getting stuck.
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If you think of motivation as the thing that pushes you forward then a negative mindset is what holds you back.
There are times when fear and doubt still creeps up into my mind.
Doubt drains motivation. And fear creates procrastination.
How often do you start a SMART goal with a strong WHY and still get unmotivated?
It’s when things start going in your favor but there is a hurdle in your way that requires you to get outside your comfort zone. So you dial back and become less productive because it keeps you from facing the fear and doubts head-on. It’s not that you don’t want to because you do. It’s the lack of confidence that keeps you from moving forward.
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For instance, this sums up my story of blogging. Boy, do I hate getting in front of, the camera and marketing. This goal has a strong why… more quality time with children (3yr old girl & 9-year-old boy) and financial freedom (ugh college loans). It’s SMART but at times I still lose the motivation to tackle the next task – webinars, Facebook lives, reaching out to others or YouTube.
HOW TO FIX IT: I take baby steps but continue to move forward. Fake it until you make it. Also, make a list! A list of gratitude, things that you fear and the areas you don’t feel confident. This allows you to be honest with yourself and reevaluate how to address it. In turn, you will be able to complete a list of things that you’re most proud of and know how to stop negative self-talk.
Motivation Killer #6: Inconsistency
Starting and stopping a task quickly can make you lose motivation. Because the longer you’re not active; the easier it gets to do nothing.
Think about the snowball effect, it’s hard work, in the beginning, to pack and build it, but once it starts rolling it keeps itself rolling.
For example, if you are doing a workout 3 times a week and then you skip for 2 weeks. You will have to recondition your mind to begin again. But why it’s easier not to do anything.
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Need motivation? Find out what highly successful people do to stay motivated.
Motivation Killer #7: Being Impatient
You can easily get unmotivated if things are not happening fast enough. Give yourself a realistic time frame; Set SMART goals and be patient.
“Having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked”
Especially the younger generation who want everything to happen NOW? The world of internet …fast answers, cell phone…fast response, microwaves… food fast, and fast-food restaurants that can get you in and out. No wonder everything needs to happen NOW.
But the downfall of being impatient is you can become so fixed on the end goal that you don’t appreciate the journey. Also, you are likely to make a mistake if you are trying to move too fast.
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- Do you ever feel like things are not going fast enough?
- Rather trying to get pregnant, get a job, finding a new home or a guy?
- You are left feeling frustrated because things are not working out?
Remember the story about the rabbit and the turtle.
Try to keep in mind that when achieving goals in life, run at your own pace. And to stay motivated remember your end goal. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how fast you arrived but that you did.
A lesson for all of us to remember is speed does not equate success just because someone got there faster does not mean they are more successful in their life. Some people start slow and steady. Be the tortoise and ignore the hares!
HOW TO FIX IT: First, understand and respect that not all goals are in your control.
- Don’t be afraid to relinquish control to God and be patient.
- Be ok with not being perfect but still putting yourself out there.
- Be ok when things don’t happen fast.
Motivation Killer #8: Lack of Self-Care
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.
How can you possibly feel motivated to do anything if you’re running on fumes?
Chances are…You’re probably exhausted.
Not getting enough sleep.
Or you are dealing with medical issues.
These can leave you feeling drained and unmotivated.
Often people get into the habit of taking care of others that they tend to forget about making themselves a priority.
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Believe me; I understand fully I have kids. Somehow, you fall to the bottom of the list.
If a lack of energy is your problem then schedule an appointment with your physician.
There was a time when I was drained and feeling unmotivated to accomplish anything. I finally went to the doctor. I was relieved to know it was not just me but that I was vitamin D deficient.
HOW TO FIX IT: Visit your doctor if something seems abnormal, schedule “me” time on the calendar for self-care, enjoy mental health days, eat healthily and exercise regularly. Take a minute to rest and restore yourself. Refill your cup!
How to Fix Your Lack of Motivation
Achieving your goals is a process, it takes time! It’s the motivation that gets you from setting your goal all the way to eventually slaying it.
There’s no such thing as an overnight success. The media and entertainment industry often romanticize the stories of successful people. They rarely mention or show you how persistent and consistent they were. One step a day, a task at a time, slaying one goal at a time. They don’t show you the set up that went into landing that BIG accomplishment you know about.
Motivation is the fuel, but it’s only part of what’s necessary to get where you want to be in life. You need achievable goals and a clear path to success.
Free Slay Your Goals Guide
Want to refocus on your goals and make consistent progress? Get the Slay Your Goals Guide, with the ten steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Psst, being motivated is only one of the ten steps.
Be consistent, and be patient with yourself.
Your lack of motivation is often a result of losing sight of yourself.
Don’t lose faith because you’re not where others are as yet.
Be good with you and do what YOU can do every day to slay your goals.
What’s your #1 motivation killer?
More About Guest Contributor
Darla Lee, the founder of Famlee Of Four is a blogger, writer and real-life working mom that understands the struggle of work/self/ family balance. In the midst of all the chaos, she offers a corner space on her blog for moms to become empowered and get inspiration. A place for moms to rediscover their passion, achieve goals, and make extra money utilizing their life purpose.