How do you set the right New Year’s Resolution?
What makes it a good New Year’s resolution?
Read this BEFORE you make a New Year's Resolution this year! #NewYear2019Click To Tweet
Should you “get fit” and “be healthier” like everyone else tries to?
Or maybe you should be more adventurous, put yourself out there more?
Let’s not make the mistakes you made the years before, don’t make the resolution everyone else is making.
Forget about what you think you should be doing to change your life, figure out what you need to do to live YOUR best life – not societies, not your families, not a life that impresses friends or social media followers.
This is the year you finally deal with that thing that’s been irking you for ages. The thing that keeps you up at night? Or take steps to achieve the goals you daydream of every day?
This is your year, right? The year the changes it all for you. Maybe or maybe not.
It can all start off great for you in 2019 if you choose the right resolution.
What’s a New Year’s Resolution Anyways?
We certainly love wish making, promising to do better next year and making lists, New Year’s is no exception to human behavior.
The origin of New Year’s Resolutions traces all the way back to over 4,000 years ago in Ancient Babylon. During the festival of Akitu, the Babylonians would make pledges of good deeds to the gods in return for their favor.
And yes, we make these promises to ourselves, and maybe even some us to the universe?
Sure, things have changed a bit, and today resolutions are more about self-improvement and being a better person.
That’s one way to view New Year’s Resolutions, allow me to offer another.
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Make a Resolution That Resolves
But, when I think about resolutions more generally, I see in my mind the resolution of a great battle. I think about the resolutions that were signed on the battlefields of history. The signing of an agreement that ushered in a reign of peace and ended a great conflict.
Okay so, what does this have to do with you?
You fight battles in your life every single day. From the battles with your body, your mind, your spirit, your emotions, your finances and the many other aspects of your life.
There’s usually one great battle at a time. One defining pain or problem that consumes you.
What’s the great battle you face right now? What are you torn up about?
Is there a dream that you have that you just haven’t realized?
A resolution resolves, usually a great conflict. What’s yours?
Your New Year’s resolution should resolve your greatest conflict.
Resolve Your Biggest Problem in the New Year
What’s your greatest conflict?
Where’s your greatest pain or problem?
Not just what hurts, but what’s the thing that you carry with you, that you avoid or you go around instead of facing?
We all have something, something we hide from, something we procrastinate facing. Do you need to face your fears?
It’s usually the thing you hate talking about and wish no one would ask you about. (You just thought of it, yes that thing!)
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You know, that thing you know but pretend you don’t. That thing you ignore. That thing your gut scream or maybe just whisper to you about.
We all have something like this in our lives.
Still not sure what it is?
- What keeps you up at night?
- What’s your biggest challenge?
- Do you complain about one thing?
- What do you google constantly about?
- Do you ask for advice about something?
- What would you change about your life?
- What’s making your deeply unhappy?
Pursue Your Dream Life in the New Year
I know from my own experience that my greatest pain was not following my dream. This was a source of great personal conflict in my 9-5 life.
What’s your dream? What goals do you want to achieve?
Are you in conflict with yourself for not pursuing it?
Perhaps, you are disappointed that you haven’t gotten started and taken action.
Denying myself of a creative lifestyle that allowed me to be me was my number one issue I needed to resolve.
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- What do you dream of doing?
- If money wasn’t an issue, what would you be doing?
- Where do you dream of doing?
- Who do you dream of being?
- What can you do this year to get closer to that dream life?
Bye Bye Generic Genie
Forget what society or what anyone else tells you that your resolution should be.
It should be personal to you, not some generic choice on the prescribed life’s checklist.
You are most likely to resolve your great conflict than to do something superficial that doesn’t actually have meaning to you.
“Getting fit” is the easiest example of this and one I can relate to. Everyone floods the gym first quarter and get washed out by spring. Why is that?
Were they trying to be who they were told they should be (or look like they think they should because that’s what they need), rather than finding their own resolution?
I’m totally guilty of this, I kept my gym membership for years when I knew all along I wasn’t the gym type. I worked out, I did personal training seasons because I thought that’s what I should be doing. And when I wasn’t feeling healthy at all I tried even harder.
I suffered from low energy, stomach pain and joint pain for like 3 or 4 years. I just never felt awake, but I still persisted that it was a fitness issue. Everyone said it was a lack of exercise!
There are so many possible unique New Year’s resolution ideas to choose from, don’t be generic!
Find the Right Re-solution
But, “getting fit” wasn’t my solution. I was focusing on the wrong resolution.
My problem wasn’t that I wasn’t getting enough exercise, my problem was that I had a gluten allergy that was messing with my body. Instead of trying and failing to work it away, I started to pay attention to my body and diagnosed my allergy. (Something multiple doctors failed to do).
I’ve never felt better and no gym membership required. I may not be “fit,” or have rock hard abs, but I’m living a healthy lifestyle – for me!
It was never about the weight, but all about feeling alive again. For the longest time, I just didn’t feel like it!
I know this is a unique story, but swap the gym for whatever you’ve tried to resolve your greatest conflict with and it’s the same story.
Here’s another personal example, I wanted to feel fulfilled and have a career I was really proud of, so I quit my job for another job and guess what that wasn’t it either. It was the 9-5, any full-time job with a long commute, but it took years to accept that I wanted to escape the 9 to 5.
Sometimes part of the resolution is committing to just finding a solution that works for you. Sometimes part of the resolution is accepting the solution you know you need.
Don’t be afraid to try anything and everything and to stop when it isn’t working. Just remember to pick up something else when you drop the wrong one.
Don’t get frustrated or fatigued when you fall short or fail, just try another way to bring resolution.
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Not About Making 3 Wishes
“Oh sweet New Year, bring me fortune, bring me this, bring me that.”
If we’re being accurate, the most common New Year’s Resolution is “Dear 2019, help me lose weight, enjoy life to the fullest and make more money.”
Yeah okay. Sounds a bit ridiculous, but how often do you approach your resolutions with this diluted babble?
I’m totally guilty of this too. As if the calendar flipping over will somehow bring some mystical resolution of my life’s pains or the great conflict in my life? Or perhaps just wipe the slate clean for me.
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“If only it was the next year already, surely then I’ll make it.”
Maybe we’re all still praying to something? Pledging to this magical change of the year?
A resolution is not a sentimental wish you make at midnight.
Be serious, not sentimental.
This is not a wish.
You’re going to have to make it happen, so make it doable.
Make it meaningful. You’ll need that meaning to motivate you.
5 Tips for Choosing the RIGHT Resolution:
Great, let’s put it to the test, here are 5 ways to make sure it’s the right New Year’s Resolution for you.
The RIGHT Resolution should:
#1: Make Sure It Resolves:
Does your New Year’s Resolution address your greatest challenge?
What’s your biggest “pain,” struggle or challenge right now?
Does your resolution resolve it? If not, then why is this your resolution?
This is where you’re allowed get sentimental, find the source of your motivation and your “why”! Capture this feeling when writing your New Year’s Resolution. It should be something you simply can’t ignore and are relieved to admit, as well as commit to.
#2. It Needs to be Intuitive:
Is your New Year’s Resolution a “good fit” for you and your abilities?
List three intuitive or instinctive ways you can achieve your resolution.
What comes “naturally” to you? What are your strengths (and weaknesses)?
In order to be successful, you shouldn’t have to reinvent yourself or acquire an entire new complicated set of skills, credentials or whatever else in order to achieve your resolution. It’s just too much to ask of yourself.
You should, however, be able to play to your superpower, and what makes you authentically you.
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#3. Being Authentic and Genuine:
Is this New Year’s Resolution you? Are you being authentic?
Is your resolution actually you? Or is it a resolution you’ve been told you should have, or you feel pressure to achieve?
Or, is it your family, friends, spouse, society or culture? Is it what you really want or desire?
Are you being authentic and honest with yourself?
#4. Be Hopeful and Positive
Is the emotional sentiment of your New Year’s Resolution hopeful and positive?
Hope and healing, or fear and doubt? Do you feel worthy?
When you think about your New Year’s resolution, either having to work towards it and then finally achieving it, what do you feel? Your resolution should be hopeful.
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#5. Should Be Transformative
Is the process of achieving your New Year’s Resolution transformative to you? How?
Remember, achieving your resolution is just as much, if not more, about the process (the actual doing), than the outcome.
Does it promote your personal growth and metamorphosis as a person? Think of three ways your New Year’s Resolution transform you.
What Should My New Year’s Resolution Be?
Need help choosing the right New Year’s Resolution for 2019? Sometimes it’s hard to know what to decide.
Take the quiz and discover what area of your life you should focus on, plus get unique New Year’s Resolution ideas just for you.